Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did pregnant Emily and the library book she was reading have in common?

They were both due in September.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Betty need to call the dry cleaner where she had left her clothes?

She had a pressing question.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why do internet browsers tend to gain weight?

They use cookies.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Edith insist on drinking tea out of her own cup?

Any other way was not her cup of tea.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why do some of these instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was the nickname of the orchestra conducter for the orchestra whose nickname was 'Heat'?

'Metal', because Metal conducts Heat.

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Akiva Lane
General

What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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