Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What paragraph does Ron Desantis add to every contract?

A DeSantis clause.

1544
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

927
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

588
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

2591
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

2230
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

455
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Marty feel when the male deer stopped in front of his car?

The buck stops here.

847
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did the recession affect the company that made air conditioners?

It took the wind out of their sales.

1323
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the uncle's wife nervous?

She was feeling 'auntsy'.

2119
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What bird is very curious about people?

The owl, because is always saying 'Who, who?'

1208
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

How did the tycoon ask his architect to design a modest home?

"Don't mansion it".

2034