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How did the English teacher teach the class spelling?

She cast them under her spell.

829

What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

1705

Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

2390

Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

1739

Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

1836

What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

2825

Which type of realtor markets people's basements?

A celler's agent.

1442

How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

897

What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

607

What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

3005

What's good about having a one-track mind?

You don't easily go off the rails.

1175

What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

696