Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call someone who is always drinking coffee?

A caf-fiend.

1982
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What happened to this couple just before the wedding?

They disengaged.

1086
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why is this inspiring?

It says 'Eye can!'

2314
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is similar between getting off drugs and the day after Thanksgiving?

Cold turkey.

1724
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

750
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What is not a nice way to describe how one's vacuum cleaner works?

It sucks!

368
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is the difference between an ox and an egg?

The yoke of the ox is outside, the yolk of the egg is inside.

2668
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

1976
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What seal agrees with everything?

The seal of approval.

1886
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

2579