Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Bill take music stands from other places, and put them in his house?

When he felt strongly about something, he felt he needed to take a stand.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you lightening that starts a forest fire?

A match made in heaven.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cane called that a shepherd uses to get animals to move faster?

A hurry cane.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia put on a hat whenever she wanted to keep a secret?

Because she had to keep the secret under her hat.

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Akiva Lane
General
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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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Akiva Lane
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What did Joan do after she attached her schedule to a helium balloon?

She didn't know, because her plans were up in the air.

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Akiva Lane
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What can be said about people who work around the clock?

They are shiftless.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the bike rider say to his friend after smashing into him by mistake?

I didn't expect to run into you here.

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Shane Ronay
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Where is the best place to find highly unusual things?

A bizarre

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Akiva Lane
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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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Akiva Lane
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When Shakespeare had writer's block, what was his motto?

Where there's a Will, there's a way.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the result if you combine a sweet pie and a sharp onion?

You get an O-PI-NION that is both sweet and sharp.

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