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Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653

Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

2962

What did the Mayor say when the workers put street signs upside down?

This is not a good sign.

3055

What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

2982

What happened to the college when it didn't want to give its teachers a raise in salary?

It lost its faculties.

2134

What are flies that hang around a clock called?

Time flies.

893

Why was Betty happy with the work of the seamstress?

It was sew good.

1535

Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

2463

Is there general agreement that people are born with a desire to take whatever they want?

A greed.

1368

With the rule "I before E except after C', why is the word 'seize' an exception?

Because it is totally made up 'Seize'

2258

What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

225

What is an expert in making signs called?

A sign-tist.

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