Pictures:

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What happened when the electrician found his mind wandering?

He had a very shocking experience.

1940

Where do books sleep?

Between the covers.

2375

What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

1627

What do you call two siblings that are sleeping next to each other?

Nap Kins

2551

What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

254

What do animals and coins have in common?

They both have heads and tails.

2613

Why did the politician take a part-time job as a cashier?

He wanted to learn more about change.

2507

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

2397

What does a cell phone and a gold ring have in common?

They both have a ring tone.

3040

What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

668

How did the alien feel when trying to socialize with people?

Alienated.

2305