Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

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Akiva Lane
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What relationship involves the law of gravity at the center of the solar system?

The sun-in-law.

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Akiva Lane
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What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill's body respond when he was insulted?

He felt knocked off his feet, he felt hit in the head, he took it as an affront, and was taken aback.

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Akiva Lane
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What do shoes and noses have in common?

They both smell.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt?

A Cairo Practor.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

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Akiva Lane
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What's similar between the last stop on a train and a lion's tail?

They are both the end of the lion.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the singer embarrassed to go on stage and perform?

Because he was a little horse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold use gloves when painting with red paint?

He didn't want to be caught red handed.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call birds who go to a house of worship?

Birds of pray.

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