Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How did the English teacher teach the class spelling?

She cast them under her spell.

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Akiva Lane
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What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

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Akiva Lane
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Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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Shane Ronay
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Which type of realtor markets people's basements?

A celler's agent.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

3005
Shane Ronay
General
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What's good about having a one-track mind?

You don't easily go off the rails.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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