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Akiva Lane
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Do people gain weight as they get older?

If they do, it's a waist of time.

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Akiva Lane
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What is this?

Rock and roll.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the kitchen pot when it's owner found it's lid?

It's now fully recovered.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the farmer surprised how much it cost to feed his chickens?

It was more than he expected - it wasn't chicken feed.

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Akiva Lane
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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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Akiva Lane
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If FedEx merged with UPS, what would the new company be called?

Fed Up.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Mr. & Mrs. Auer call eating a meal together?

They called it our Auer hour.

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Akiva Lane
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Did Sodom and Gomorrah deserve their punishment?

Moral less.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an expert in making signs called?

A sign-tist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because it was a little hoarse.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a perfume company?

Scent Sational.

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