Pictures:

What's the combination of a man and a lima bean?

A human bean.

1748

How did Maxine fold up her laptop?

She folded the screen down.

2195

What do you say when you have trouble opening a jar of sesame paste?

Open sesame.

2642

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What did the uninitiated tourist think when he visited here?

People were talking to the wall.

638

Who was always $1 in debt?

Buck Owens

2214

Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

1564

What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

1382

How did Becky feel about hot dogs?

She felt they were the wurst.

1579

What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

668

What seven letter word for a tree has all 5 vowels?

Sequoia

1679

A pear of scissors.

2704