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What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

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What's the biggest myth about this school?

That it's a Mens Only college (boys).

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why did the man make window blinds from potato peels?

He heard they were a nightshade.

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Why the quarterback run with the ball?

When he didn't see any receivers, his original plan didn't come to pass.

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What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

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Why do many people choose low-fat milk?

Whole milk wheys them down.

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Which industry helps news broadcast companies remain profitable?

Radiology

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What did Bill say when Max wanted to kill a bug that landed on Bill's watch?

You're not going to do that on my watch.

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Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

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What do you call someone who helps on a farm?

A farm assist.

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Where did Shakespeare learn to write plays as a child?

In the play-ground.

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Why did the farmer feel uncomfortable in the wheat field at night?

He felt like he was being stalked.

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