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What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

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Why did the bartender encourage his customers to drink more?

He wanted them to be more tips-y.

1988

What do you say to a bowl of kidney beans when you haven't eaten them for a while?

Where have you bean?

2997

Why did the thief who wanted to repent always do things very quickly?

He didn't want to hold people up.

3256

What was Edith's reaction to reading the book on anti-gravity?

She couldn't put it down.

2380

What factors have helped Amazon retain repeat business?

Free Shipping and Auto-Ordering are two Prime examples.

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Why should baggage with wheels not be called luggage?

Because it is wheeled and not lugged around.

2443

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

59

Which fruit cannot be consumed as a single entity?

A pair

2531

What was the main fruit in Noah's ark?

Pears.

80

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

What do you call a line of rabbits putting seeds into the ground a second time?

A re-seeding hare line.

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