Pictures:

What do dentists never tell their patients?

Keep your mouth shut.

623

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

2802

Why should we have more appreciation for street contractors?

Because they pave the way for us.

635

Why did Janet join the church choir?

She likes singing hims.

1481

Why should you learn sign language?

It comes in handy.

801

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704

What is ironic about a large lighthouse?

It's both a lighthouse and a heavy house at the same time.

2923

What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

459

Why didn't Arnie like downhill skiing?

He wasn't inclined to enjoy that kind of activity.

1422

What is similar between getting off drugs and the day after Thanksgiving?

Cold turkey.

1724

Why does the world have problems?

Because it is bi-polar.

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