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What is someone called who can't stop weaving on a loom?

A loomatic.

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What did the sweet potato with amnesia say?

I don't know who I yam.

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Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

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On a hot sunny day, why did Bill eat all the peas in the can and left only one?

Because then he had a canopy.

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How can psychiatrists charge so much?

Because people have to be crazy to pay those rates.

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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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Since the hamburger was behind in the race, how could it win?

It needed to ketchup.

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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

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How can you tell that a person has humility?

The person places 'you' first - as in 'you'-mility.

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Why did the scarecrow win a very special award?

Because it was outstanding in its field.

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Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest?

It peaked his interest.

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