Pictures:

What would it be called if animals gave birth from their hands?

Pregnant paws.

3224

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

Why did Maxine toss a clock in the air?

She wanted to see time fly.

775

How did the veterinarian know that the horse had a cold?

He heard it straight from the horses mouth.

1698

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

Why did the bartender put rolls on the bar next to the drinks?

His motto was 'Roll with the punches'.

1246

What did the choir call their concert in May?

A May Sing.

3237

What do you call and aunt that doesn't like people?

Aunt Tipathy

1913

What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

3206

Why did the judge put the man in jail for stealing from the bakery?

Evidence showed he really took the cake.

198

How did Melinda like the movie about sponges that live in the ocean?

She found it very absorbing.

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