Pictures:

What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

997

Why did Betty hold things very tightly when things got tough?

She didn't want things to get out of hand.

1155

Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

1149

Why should you be careful with things that seem great?

Because great begins with the word grey.

1574

Why did the mother love carry her child?

She started loving it when she carried him before he was born.

3288

Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

3051

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

What do you call a new one ounce bottle of perfume with a subtle fragrance?

A new ounce with a nuance.

2753

Why did the programmer call an exterminator?

Because he had a bug in his program.

722

What is happening here?

Eve is giving Adam an Apple iPhone.

3072

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190

What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

2060