Pictures:

How do you say hello to the middle of the day?

High, noon!

345

What kind of boxes are similar to people who don't like card games?

Card bored.

2478

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

Why was Bob concerned about the impression he made when he ran on the treadmill?

He didn't want people to think he was just a run of the mill guy

464

What do you call a pencil too short to sharpen anymore?

A point of no return.

2125

How does someone feel after they eat peas?

They feel peas-ful.

679

What is a machine that automatically rows a boat?

A row bot.

1221

What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

465

Why is dating tricky?

There might be a 'catch' in what looks like a good catch.

1969

What do you say when something valuable falls into a well by mistake?

Oh, well.

3000

How do you get someone to say 'Who's there?'

You say 'Knock, knock'

2974

What did Maxine do when she lost her job?

She wrote a resume in order to resume working.

2039