Pictures:

When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

1613

How was a comedian asked to perform at the Orthopedist's Convention?

Please...humerus.

1077

What is a person called who knows a lot about eggs?

An eggs-pert.

1112

How did the lawyers refer to the case of the pillow company being sued?

The pillow case.

1825

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79

What kind of angle has the most confidence?

A right angle.

2785

Why did Evelyn dislike being near chickens?

Because they used fowl language.

1726

How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

2154

Why did Billy ask to borrow his friend's shoes?

Because he was told not to judge someone until you stand in their shoes.

870

What part of the meat did Bill try not to bring to his wife from the freezer?

He didn't think it was a good idea to give his wife the cold shoulder.

1964

Why did Maxine like riding on the ferris wheel?

It made her feel like a big wheel.

645

What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

1725