Pictures:

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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What do you call a letter C that does things very well?

Efficient C.

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How does someone feel after they eat peas?

They feel peas-ful.

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How is the way that cows chew their cud similar to letters to the editor?

They both involve feedback.

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How did the city feel when they built a stone wall a mile long?

They felt it was a milestone.

1607

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

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Why should you usually not take bullies seriously?

Because they are usually just full of bull.

2508

Gaucho Marx

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What happens if two silk worms have a race?

They end in a tie.

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How did the world react to Edison's invention of the electric light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

2993

What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

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