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What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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Which two animals have the lowest integrity?

The lyin and the cheetah.

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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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What is it called when people talk about their disagreements?

The disgust is discussed.

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What did the dentist say after he examined the comb with a lot of thin teeth?

You're fine.

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Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

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Why was Bob upset when he got a fine?

He didn't think it was fine at all.

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What invention lets you look through a wall?

A window.

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What was Genghis Kahn's attitude that made him successful?

He was Kahn-fident.

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Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

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What do you call periodicals that discuss Make America Great Again?

Maga Zines

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