Pictures:

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

What is a person called who knows a lot about eggs?

An eggs-pert.

1112

Why did the football player like feeling the backs of geese?

He liked the idea of 'touch down'.

2157

What was King Louis the XV referring to when he said, 'After me the flood'?

The rain of terror.

2521

How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

765

What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

1770

What is a course called where you learn to be a doctor with material you get in the mail?

A post doctorate.

1550

What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

764

Why didn't the actor work on Passover?

He couldn't have any roles.

3022

What is it called when someone drives using an interactive talking GPS device?

ChatGPS

2850

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220