Pictures:

What happened when Ben was stuck in traffic and missed his doctor's appointment?

It became a dis-appointment.

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Why do commuters need sleep specialists?

They are always exhausted.

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Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

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How are a salad and a Paris bathroom similar?

They both accommodate French dressing.

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What is a coat with only sleeves called?

A coat of arms.

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Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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What does someone say who loves using thyme as a spice?

"Thyme is of the essence" or "I just need more thyme".

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What's a good motto for an internet store?

It's better to be online than on line.

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What did the publishing company name itself that set up shop in an old basketball court?

Full Court Press.

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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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