Pictures:

How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

765

What are events before they unfold?

Folded.

621

What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

1581

Why doesn't Clark Kent become Superman anymore?

He can't find a telephone booth.

3229

What do you call a large party where matzah is served?

A matzah ball.

2758

How did the trucking company become so successful?

They went the extra mile.

323

What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

2825

This animal is a practical joker.

He just got his friend's goat.

1282

What do you call a bruise that is in the side of a beet?

A beet nick.

3294

How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

1767

How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

585

How do you know if a commercial zip line is safe?

It complies with the Zip Code.

812