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Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240

What do you call a bee that is in a trance?

A Zom Bee.

2676

What is an example of an American war that was not civil?

The Civil War.

1626

When the stadium's gardener was pulling up weeds, what did he say to the team?

I'm rooting for you.

2702

Why did the quarterback run instead of throwing to his wide receiver?

He was cut off at the pass.

492

Why did Arnold start a company that makes shovels?

He wanted to do well in spades.

1033

What happened when Brenda yelled into a colander?

She strained her voice.

2349

Why did Betty watch the weeds grow in the vacant lot?

Because she enjoyed it as the plot thickened.

20

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

Why did the clown leave the circus?

Because people were always laughing at him.

2621

How did Bill feel when the day was so busy that he couldn't get any rest?

He felt restless.

3186

Why did the homeowner get upset that he had to install this?

He just needed to vent.

639