Pictures:

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

133

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

Why did the mint chocolate candies look so fresh and clean?

Because they were in mint condition.

949

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

646

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had so many problems.

1752

Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

1376

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

2191

Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

752

Why did Betty fix her watch quickly?

She wanted to have a good time.

518

How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

2583

What are people who work for the telephone company in Poland called?

Telephone Poles.

2934