Pictures:

If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

1645

What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

2813

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840

Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

He felt he could use all the training he could get.

2719

Why do some people seem to find things out before others?

They're member of the heard.

1491

What is another name for a frankfurter and beer?

Frank and stein.

745

After Joe's dog Spot ran away, why was his house cleaner?

Because it was Spot-less.

1395

Why did Beverly change from being an accountant to a singing teacher?

She found she was very good with in-voices.

2256

Why did the manager buy a very large piece of paper?

Because he wanted all his workers to be on the same page.

1360

What does a law student have in common with someone giving up liquor?

They both want to pass the bar.

1856

What is someone who can keep a secret called?

A secretary.

735

What is the message of a clock with wings?

That time flies.

892