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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

1627

What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

2208

What will happen if the San Andreas Fault causes an earthquake?

It will be covered by no-fault insurance.

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How was Bill's mug shot that was taken when he was arrested by mistake?

The picture didn't do him justice.

2065

What do you call two siblings that are sleeping next to each other?

Nap Kins

2551

What's good about having a one-track mind?

You don't easily go off the rails.

1175

Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

516

Did Sodom and Gomorrah deserve their punishment?

Moral less.

2633

Which type of realtor focuses only on promoting people's basements?

A celler's agent.

1442

Why are the tops of mountains called 'peaks'?

Because they peek at us from a distance.

1414

Why did Jay attend traffic court for his illegal Left Turn?

He knew he was right.

1090

What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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