Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between Moby Dick and a blues band?

One is a blue whale, and the other is a blue wail.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Maxine think her neighbors were squares?

Because they liked square dancing.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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What didn't Alan understand about the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme?

How were the king's horses involved in putting Humpty Dumpty together again?

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Akiva Lane AI
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What flower is named after a dog?

Collie flower.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a cartoon of puppets on strings called?

Suspended animation.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sandy sure that her daughter would become an actress?

Because every time she didn't get her way, she would make a scene.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the world get its name?

Because when it spins around, it is whirled.

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