Pictures:

Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

1497

What kind of running results in having less of something?

Running out of something.

2047

What is an expert commentator about puns?

A pundit.

1228

What did Bill say when Max wanted to kill a bug that landed on Bill's watch?

You're not going to do that on my watch.

2158

What is it called if a baseball pitcher throws a small model of an elevator?

An elevator pitch.

1695

Why did Bob join the tug-of-war team?

He wanted to meet people who had a lot of pull.

835

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

Why don't elephants get upset very often?

They have thick skin.

1932

What is it called when you're on a boat and invite people to play and no one shows up?

You're not playing with a full deck.

2428

Who was the person mistaken for someone's father?

A faux pa

2261

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

Why did the waiter in the restaurant need to calm down and have patience?

He didn't want people to say he couldn't wait.

1682