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After his cold, why did Phil feel like a pony?

Becauses he was a little hoarse.

941

Why couldn't serfs get ahead during the Middle Ages?

Life was feudal.

1480

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

How did Elsie the cow feel when she couldn't give milk?

She felt like an udder failure.

325

What do you say when you look at the ocean after a long time away?

Long time no sea.

90

Why did the baker always make jokes about bread?

To get a rise out of people.

420

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

Why did the kleptomaniac go to the doctor?

He wanted to know what he could take for his condition.

1654

What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

1602

What happened when Gary tried to play piano by ear?

He decided it's better to play with his hands.

2800

What's in back of the back of a person?

The front of the person.

1646