Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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When Bill was feeling down, why did he go to the racetrack?

It made him feel bettor.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call machines that sand down the surface of kernals of grain?

Kernal sanders.

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Shane Ronay
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Where's the best place to shop in order to escape?

A flee market

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Akiva Lane
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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Maxine fold up her laptop?

She folded the screen down.

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General
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What is it called when someone drinks whisky when he has a sling on his arm?

A sling shot.

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Akiva Lane
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If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

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General
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How do you describe someone who is walking in front of a herd of animals in Africa?

He's ahead of the game.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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