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What are the great-great grandparents of an ant called?

Ant-cestors.

67

When one spouse says, 'I've had it up to here', what can the other spouse say?

What is 'it' and where is 'here'?

611

How did the head of the orchestra feel when he couldn't find people to play in it?

It was disconcerting.

1712

What should you do when you are waiting a long time in a doctor's office?

Be patient.

2844

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

What would it be called if animals gave birth from their hands?

Pregnant paws.

3224

What is an expert thief who is second in command called?

An accomplished accomplice.

1156

What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

3168

What is store that sells phones called?

A sell phone store.

1862

Why are reading glasses called glasses?

Because they are made from plastic?

568

What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

2813

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

3004