Pictures:

When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

1613

What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

85

Why did the singer stand on a key?

He didn't want to sing off key.

748

What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

2832

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

2497

What do you call a roof made of seal skins?

A seal-ing.

1604

What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

564

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

1734

How can psychiatrists charge so much?

Because people have to be crazy to pay those rates.

2620

Why did Betty distrust stairs?

She felt they were always up to something.

1333