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Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

406

What is a punster's favorite vegetable?

Corn (you knew that).

1047

When Joe was very tired, why did he go to the police station?

Because he needed arrest.

19

Why was Jill relieved after she put the lid back on the peanut butter jar.

Because now it's recovered.

92

What arm of the octopus is the strongest?

The Arm E.

2706

What do you call an engineer that dries out the water from streams?

An ex-stream-ist.

2596

Why was Bill hesitant to have a rock band play on his yacht?

He was always told it's not good to rock the boat.

1580

What did Fred say to the driver of the car that hit his car from the back?

You're a pain in the rear end.

399

Why dosn't Andrea like eating old mint candy?

Her one requirement is that they must be in mint condition.

2913

How did Maxine fold up her laptop?

She folded the screen down.

2195

Why is Joe doing this?

He was told it was important to push the envelope.

2213

Why should baggage with wheels not be called luggage?

Because it is wheeled and not lugged around.

2443