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Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

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What is a survey about telephone usage called?

A telephone poll.

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How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

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What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

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What kind of bird doesn't sing, but only hums?

A hummingbird.

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What is a room that has mold called?

A mush room.

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Why did Joe work in a pizza shop?

He kneaded the dough.

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Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

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What do these two buildings have in common?

They are both called 'The House That Ruth Built'.

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What is called if a lawyer charges nothing to help write a will?

Free will.

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Why did Alan think carefully about everything decision he made?

Because to do anything else would be unthinkable.

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What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

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