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Akiva Lane
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Are very cold and very hot temperatures unhealthy?

It's just a matter of degree.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

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Akiva Lane
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What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the bakery shoot their cake up in a rocket ship?

They want to say their cake is out-of-this-world.

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Shane Ronay
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Which type of vehicle transports a person to the doctor when he hurts his foot?

A toe truck.

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Akiva Lane
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How do we know that the water in back of a boat is not asleep?

Because it's a wake.

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Akiva Lane
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Why the quarterback run with the ball?

When he didn't see any receivers, his original plan didn't come to pass.

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Shane Ronay
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How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Billy write in all capital letters?

He wanted to practice being a Capitalist.

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Akiva Lane
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What do they say about a great baseball player?

That the hits just keep on coming!

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Akiva Lane
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What's does track & field have in common with a Polish bank?

They both have Pole vaults.

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