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Why is a child's cry called a wail?

Because sometimes it seems as big as a whale.

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Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

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What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

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What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

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What was Samantha's reaction to the small flea market?

She thought it was a little bizarre.

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What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

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What did the bike rider say to his friend after smashing into him by mistake?

I didn't expect to run into you here.

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What is it called when a parrot chews off and swallows the weak end of a stick?

A weekend in parrots.

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How is waiting in line similar to being a doctor?

You need patience.

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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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What can be said about Betty who didn't clean the kitchen often enough?

She led a life of grime.

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Why did the mother love carry her child?

She started loving it when she carried him before he was born.

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