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Akiva Lane
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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

1920
Akiva Lane
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Why was the football team surprised when their opponents punted the football?

They thought there was no punt intended.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the students of the brilliant physics professor refer to him?

Dr. Know.

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Akiva Lane
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Why couldn't Joe say the phrase "A cyclone that looks like a tongue."

Because it was a tongue twister.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

412
Akiva Lane
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Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

1970
Akiva Lane
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How did Max feel about having lice?

It made him feel lousy.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill try not to reminisce about his days in the Merchant Marines?

He didn't want to miss the boat.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call college students who go back to school in the fall?

Autumn leaves.

1990
Akiva Lane
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What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

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