Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did Sunil move away from Delhi?

He found it full of baloney.

1078
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

1620
Yitzchak Berger
General
Picture

What is a book about all the things that a person thinks they should have done differently?

An oughta-biography.

1341
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

326
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

1725
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Oedipus feel when he found out about his parents?

Oedipus wreck.

313
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Bill always make sure he had enough reck with him?

He didn't want to be reckless.

3148
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Is it legal to laugh loudly in Hawaii?

No, it must be kept to a low "Ha".

1430
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a machine called that helps bulls go to sleep?

A bull dozer.

1353