Pictures:

How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

1831

Why did Alan enjoy reading the novel about a back doctor?

He liked spine novels.

919

Why don't some believe in Evolution?

They think it's monkey business.

1798

What do you call a PhD in Mathematics?

An Add Executive.

1458

What do you call a pig who lost his voice?

Disgruntled

1229

What was obvious to everyone, but no one dared mention?

The elephant in the room.

269

Which horse did the cowboy only ride after dark?

A night mare

189

How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

1357

Why don't people realize when the owner of a flower shop makes fun of them?

They can't see the florist for the tease.

193

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

What is an imaginary ocean?

A fanta-sea.

695

Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

1986