Pictures:

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

Why did Bill put his left hand over the food when he finished eating?

Because the food on the plate were left-overs.

2902

Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

737

What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

282

Why did Bob join the tug-of-war team?

He wanted to meet people who had a lot of pull.

835

Which medical specialty is best for focusing on others?

Your ology

756

What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

437

What do you call a mine that might be silver and might be gold?

Either ore.

2980

Why didn't the carpenter want to fit counter-tops?

He didn't want to be accused of counter-fitting.

1601

How did Becky feel about hot dogs?

She felt they were the wurst.

1579

Why did Amy avoid dating men who publish magazines?

She found they often had issues.

1735