Pictures:

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

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What is the healthiest kind of table?

A vege-table.

1017

Why did the editor wear a sweater?

Because writers sent her many drafts.

1340

Why was Mrs. Jones always looking under her son's bed?

She was hoping that there might be something new under the son.

1407

What do you do when you first feel an itch?

You start from scratch.

2601

Does this letter want to wait?

No, it's ready.

3327

What are the dragons doing in this picture?

The dragons are dragging dragons.

3426

When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

1683

Why didn't Joe like running at the track?

He felt like he was just running around in circles.

1622

Which fruits pair well with Chinese food?

Mandarin oranges or pears.

1052

What color learns a lot by reading books?

Red

2975

How did Joe feel when he realized how much money he could have saved with a more fuel-efficient car?

He felt fuelish.

651