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What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

458

Why are jellyfish so mean?

Because they're spineless.

1061

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

Why don't some believe in Evolution?

They think it's monkey business.

1798

Why didn't Johnny want to wear fringes on his clothes like some of his friends?

He didn't want to be part of a fringe group.

357

What is the annual football game for plumbers?

The Toilet Bowl.

1346

What does a watch repairman have in common with turning a wheel left to right?

They are both clock wise.

1916

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

545

How did the honor student ace his Political Science exam?

By being politically correct.

221

What is the message of a clock with wings?

That time flies.

892

Who oversees decisions at a car alignment company?

The Steering Committee.

838

What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

616