Pictures:

How did Elsie the cow feel when she couldn't give milk?

She felt like an udder failure.

325

What does this represent?

Making N's meet.

1840

Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

1970

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

Why are reading glasses called glasses?

Because they are made from plastic?

568

How do you describe a fancy plane?

It's on a different plain.

1224

What was the motto of the salami company?

Our wurst is best.

2634

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

How did Arnold feel about his budget?

He wants to budge it.

120

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241

If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

862

In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

2246