Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did the general always have his walking stick with him?

He never made decisions without his staff.

1923
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

1656
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call heating oil that you pay for every month?

Term oil.

1746
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

If a hiker meets in the woods a large bear on the left and a small bear on the right, what should he do?

Bear right.

1122
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was it called when the sugar cane workers went on strike?

The cane mutiny.

3318
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is the opposite of an 'out voice', and what must be done with it?

An invoice, and it must be paid.

1585
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Fred spend a lot of time looking around the horse stable?

His therapist said his life should be more stable eyes'd.

1099
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the politician like to winnow grain on the farm?

He liked how it is spelled: win now.

2233
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Is this cat anything special?

Yes - it's The Cat in the Hat.

2062
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

3151
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

1568