Pictures:

How did Arnie feel when he slipped in the garbage dump?

He felt down in the dumps.

701

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

3004

What were the Smiths not concerned with?

Keeping up with the Joneses.

214

Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

1126

What color learns a lot by reading books?

Red

2975

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

What has one eye, no mouth, and everyone agrees that it always makes a good point.

A needle.

1591

Why do commuters need sleep specialists?

They are always exhausted.

2219

What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

2387

What do Siamese twins say to each other before dinner?

Would you like to join me before dinner?

2757

What is this person doing?

He is calling a spade a spade.

2703

What does a baker with a high IQ bake?

Smart cookies.

40