Pictures:

Why did Bill's moving company shake the furniture as they moved it?

Because they wanted to be movers and shakers.

1986

What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

2778

What is it called when carpets are dropped out of planes?

Carpet bombing.

1878

How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

2572

Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

2030

In war, what is more important than who is right?

Who is left.

318

When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

772

Why did Jerry expect to hear quacking after the air conditioning repair men left?

They said they were putting in new air conditioning ducks.

1536

What did the deer in the forest say to the hunter?

I'm game.

2775

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

3145

What 2 letters and 2 numbers mean 'safe dog'?

B9 K9

2037

How do you describe a doctor that is against nasal sprays?

He's anti anti-histamines.

2430