Pictures:

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

2397

What did the man say after a meteor destroyed his house?

This really hit home.

2175

How do you say hello to the middle of the day?

High, noon!

345

Why did the judge put the man in jail for stealing from the bakery?

Evidence showed he really took the cake.

198

Why was Benjy, who was quite large, like a clock?

His nickname was Big Ben.

1880

What is called if a lawyer charges nothing to help write a will?

Free will.

3156

When Betty felt the need to express herself, what did she do?

She drove on the the expressway.

2259

Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

1148

Why did the husband and wife enjoy scuba diving together?

They liked the feeling of being in sink with each other?

3104

How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

897

What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

163