Pictures:

What is this man doing with the two pieces of fruit?

He's comparing a pair of pears.

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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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When Joe visited Alaska, how did he respond when he was told 'Be careful about the grizzly bears'.

He said, "I'll bear that in mind".

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What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

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How did the word 'hour' get its name?

Because it is 'ours' to do with as we choose.

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How do you describe someone who is no longer centric?

Ex-centric.

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What is this university's sister-school?

Death Valley Tech.

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What is a bank for pigs called?

A piggy bank.

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Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

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What is a gym called filled with people who want to lose weight?

A waist land.

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How did the toys feel when the a broom swept them off the floor?

They felt swept away, swept off their feet.

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What did Bob say to the fly that what bothering him?

Don't bug me.

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