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Why did Fred often touch the four quarters he kept in his pocket?

To remind himself that sometimes change is hard.

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What is it called if someone thinks they can learn Torah by listening to Beatle music?

Beatle Torah.

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What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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When the pioneers cut down trees to clear the land, how did they feel about the difficult process of uprooting the tree stumps?

They felt stumped.

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Why didn't Bill like going to malls?

He felt that if you see one, you see the mall.

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What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

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What does a baseball cap and an overturned boat have in common?

Cap size.

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Why are reading glasses called glasses?

Because they are made from plastic?

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How do you describe the relationship between an Orthopedist and his patient?

A joint venture.

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What did Max say when the mechanic said he must fix the car brakes?

Those are the breaks.

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What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

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