Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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Akiva Lane
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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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Akiva Lane
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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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Akiva Lane
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What can you learn from watching a pear tree grow?

You can learn more about how to pre-pear.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the husband and wife enjoy scuba diving together?

They liked the feeling of being in sink with each other?

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the uncle's wife nervous?

She was feeling 'auntsy'.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a bar that serves chocolate?

A chocolate bar.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

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Shane Ronay
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Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

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Akiva Lane
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What are light bulbs that are very heavy called?

Heavy bulbs.

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