Pictures:

Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

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How did light bulbs get their name?

They are not heavy.

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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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Why did the bears stop being friends?

They found each other unbearable.

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What did Billy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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Why did the newborn require immediate surgery?

He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

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What happens to the toy drones that start by themselves?

They're flying off the shelves.

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What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

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What Far Eastern city's music has something in common with the blues?

Seoul music.

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Why did Alan collect lots of L's?

He thought it was good to have morals.

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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

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