Pictures:

What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

294

What did the circus do to the trapeze artist who wasn't performing well?

It suspended him.

2211

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

2722

Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

3127

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222

Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

1704

What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

944

What part of the day does not have an odd amount of Ning?

The Even Ning.

2675

What is a rebellious tick called?

A heretic.

2735

How was the game between professional football players and prisoners in jail?

It had its pros and cons.

2087

What does a cell phone, a credit card, and a bullfight have it common?

They all involve charging.

2984