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What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

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Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

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How did Sam feel about getting bald?

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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If the color of the White house is white, what is the color of a green house?

A greenhouse is transparent because its walls are made of glass.

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What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

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What is a person who stops exercizing called?

An ex-exercizer.

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How did the baseball player have a family meal?

He sat at his home plate.

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What vegetable is like a group that asks permission?

Let us.

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What kind of carrots are worth their weight in gold?

24 karats.

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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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Why was this a big seller?

It is candy.

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