Pictures:

What kind of ship demands total control?

Dictator ship

2387

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

How did Sam feel about getting bald?

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

46

After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

708

If the color of the White house is white, what is the color of a green house?

A greenhouse is transparent because its walls are made of glass.

341

What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

225

What is a person who stops exercizing called?

An ex-exercizer.

39

How did the baseball player have a family meal?

He sat at his home plate.

1349

What vegetable is like a group that asks permission?

Let us.

1020

What kind of carrots are worth their weight in gold?

24 karats.

934

Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

1772

Why was this a big seller?

It is candy.

3228