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Akiva Lane
General
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What are batteries called when they no longer work?

Badderies

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Akiva Lane
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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Akiva Lane
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What are axes that are used by criminals called?

Axes of Evil.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the doctor's wife say when his new practice was slow?

You just need more practice in your new practice, and you need patience for more patients.

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Yitzchak Berger
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Why is bread a lot like the sun?

Because it rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

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Akiva Lane
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How do people in Outland behave?

Their behavior is outlandish.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amanda avoid cookies, cake, and crackers?

She tried to void foods that are crummy.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

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Akiva Lane
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Why should you usually not take bullies seriously?

Because they are usually just full of bull.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the baker receive a list of duties from his boss one at a time?

They were given on a knead to know basis.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the students of the brilliant physics professor refer to him?

Dr. Know.

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