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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the veterinarian know that the horse had a cold?

He heard it straight from the horses mouth.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the baseball player have a family meal?

He sat at his home plate.

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Akiva Lane
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If the animals on Noah's ark could play musical instruments, what would it be called?

An arkestra.

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Akiva Lane
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What does life have in common with arithmetic?

It has its pluses and minuses.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

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Akiva Lane
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What are the benefits of having a sense of wonder (one-der)?

It can help you feel at 'one' with everything.

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Shane Ronay
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Did the early frost kill all the fish in the fish pond?

No, they were just being koi.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the family feel after a great day at the amusement park?

They didn't want anything to dispel the spell.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Maxine buy the more expensive bed?

It was bedder.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of boxes are similar to people who don't like card games?

Card bored.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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