Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

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Akiva Lane
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Was Anna a vegetarian?

Actually, she was vague on if she was a vegan.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

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Akiva Lane
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Why don't matadors take bulls seriously?

Because they know that they are full of bull.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you learn from watching a pear tree grow?

You can learn more about how to pre-pear.

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Akiva Lane
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How are kangaroos and rabbits different than other animals?

They are the most hoppy.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What is a risk of driving an electric car?

Being charged with battery.

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Akiva Lane
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What is candy in the shape of trains called?

Chew-chew trains.

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Akiva Lane
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How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What happens to old Texas Rangers who can no longer serve?

They become de-ranged

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