Pictures:

What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

2451

How did the veterinarian know that the horse had a cold?

He heard it straight from the horses mouth.

1698

How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

1326

Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

1707

What do you call someone who puts together kitchen cabinets?

A counter fitter.

2484

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

What did the uninitiated tourist think when he visited here?

People were talking to the wall.

638

What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

1285

What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

997

Why didn't the actor work on Passover?

He couldn't have any roles.

3022

What did Bob have to decide when someone insulted him before he boarded the plane at the airport?

Fight or flight.

2411

When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

1613