Pictures:

Why did Rose like the weekend?

Because the weekdays made her weak, and the weekend made her strong again.

1609

When Jim went to the seashore at dawn, how did he feel when the early morning mist cleared?

He had liked being in the midst of the mist, and he missed the mist.

3009

With the rule "I before E except after C', why is the word 'seize' an exception?

Because it is totally made up 'Seize'

2258

How do you describe someone who is no longer centric?

Ex-centric.

1415

What chess term refers to a marriage that needs to be re-invigorated?

Stalemate.

3306

What does a watch repairman have in common with turning a wheel left to right?

They are both clock wise.

1916

What school teaches about tea?

Universi-Tea.

681

What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

1141

What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

2722

Which type of make-up remover is used by all genders?

Withdrawing an apology

1811

Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

1362

Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

506