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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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Why was Bruce Lee's son always on time?

His first name was "Prompt".

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What are earings called that are in the shape of pears?

A pear of earrings.

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What are light bulbs that are very heavy called?

Heavy bulbs.

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Why did Grandpa enjoy spending time in his rocking chair?

Because he didn't want people to think he was off his rocker.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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What did Bill do when his hands were dirty?

He took them to a hand laundry.

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Did Bill Clinton find his wife funny?

He thought she was Hillarious

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How does a doctor thank someone for referrals?

Thank you for your patients.

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Why did Jim eat steak when he was investing in companies?

Because he wanted a stake in the companies.

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What do cats sing?

Mew sic.

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Where do baseball teams store their baseball bats?

It the bat room.

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