Pictures:

Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

816

If something is furbished twice, what does it become?

Refurbished.

1661

Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

650

How do you describe Arnold getting new boots for his computer robots?

He rebooted the computer robots.

2272

Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007

How can we summarize that Bill ruined his life because of a gambling addiction?

He threw away paradise for a pair of dice.

2424

Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

271

What part of a car is similar to these wooden dashes?

The dashboard.

2878

It escapes me.

1308

After working for 40 years, why didn't Joe want new tires on his car?

He wasn't ready to re-tire.

2164

Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

322

What are the most active two letters?

BZ

3018