Pictures:

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

2427

Why did the husband and wife feel very close to each other?

Because she was only one 'meet her' away.

2135

What do you call someone who is perspiring a lot in a sweater?

A sweater in a sweater.

3345

What is it called when carpets are dropped out of planes?

Carpet bombing.

1878

What do you call a large party where matzah is served?

A matzah ball.

2758

Which doctor would you want overseeing your bacterial infection?

The Chief of Staph

187

Why is this inspiring?

It says 'Eye can!'

2314

What permission did the poet need to write poetry?

Poetic license.

1776

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

Why do commuters need sleep specialists?

They are always exhausted.

2219