Pictures:

What begins with a dish and is not honest?

The word dishonest.

1394

How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

1212

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

3197

Why did Arlene find it hard to let the water out of the sink?

She found it draining.

10

Why do some of these specific instruments look different from the others?

They're members of the opposite sax.

826

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

137

Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

867

Where does superman shop for food?

The supermarket.

224

Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

1119