Pictures:

Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

1685

Why didn't Martha like having pet ducks?

She found they weren't what they were quacked up to be.

2167

Why did Debra Smith come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

How did Abigail respond when her husband suggested that they go camping in the winter?

The idea leaves me cold.

1832

What does a baker with a high IQ bake?

Smart cookies.

40

Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

2943

Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

1044

What is it called when you use an Apple computer to cut through loads of information to find what you are looking for?

Mac the knife.

2141

Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

1376

Jason Hernandez is 7'3", and wears the largest shoes in the world..

That's quite a feet.

1477

Which U.S. landmark are people in the biggest hurry to visit?

Mount Rush more.

185

What do you call aluminum foil that misbehaves and has too much power?

Alumi-naughty.

3244