Pictures:

What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968

Why did he buy his electric car with a credit card?

Because he knew that the car needed to be charged.

3223

What can a person do terribly that is really good?

To miss someone terribly.

555

Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

2738

What time do people go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

82

Why didn't Bill promise his wife that he would be a billionaire?

Because that didn't look very promising.

2802

What is the study of the fancy speech that con-men use called?

Prose and cons.

2088

Where's the best place to shop in order to escape?

A flee market

297

What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

2832

What happened when Gary tried to play piano by ear?

He decided it's better to play with his hands.

2800

What do you call an item in a store where the price tag is unreadable?

Priceless.

1563

What do you do when your electrical system short-circuits?

Re-fuse to make it work.

845