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Akiva Lane
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What is a course called where you learn to be a doctor with material you get in the mail?

A post doctorate.

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What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call periodicals that discuss Make America Great Again?

Maga Zines

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When Alan and Betty Jones got lost during the African safari, what was their main worry?

They didn't want to be caught behind enemy lions.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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What ring weight absolutely nothing?

The ring tone of a phone.

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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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What do you call a perfect egg?

Egg-selent.

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