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When John proposed to Joan, what playing card did he look like to Joan?

The King of Hearts.

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When Beverly had a dream about swimming in a pool of orange soda, what did it mean?

It was just a Fanta Sea.

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What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

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What did Danny do when the bullies wouldn't let other kids go on the slide?

He let it slide.

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Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

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Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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What is a well after the repairman fixes it?

Well adjusted.

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Why is it that lions get more food than tigers, leopards, and jaguars?

They always get the lion's share

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Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

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Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

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What is a cold part of South America?

Chile.

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