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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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What is a trumpet made from a shoe called?

A shoe horn.

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What did the choir call their concert in May?

A May Sing.

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Why did the farmer feel uncomfortable in the wheat field at night?

He felt like he was being stalked.

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Why did Emma avoid using coins?

She thought they were all two-faced.

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What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

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What is it called when a leader demands that everyone kneel down to him?

Tyra-knee.

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What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

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What do all these people have in common?

They're having a ball.

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Why did Sally serve beef jerky at the dinner party?

It was her dry sense of humor.

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What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

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What's a good name for someone who is always prepared?

Justin Case

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