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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

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Shane Ronay
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What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

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Akiva Lane
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How are banks like trees?

They both have branches.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a group of pictures of people laughing called?

Laughing stock.

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Akiva Lane
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What special symbol weighs more than any other?

The pound.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the version of Arabian Nights that takes place in Rome?

Al-Latin.

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Akiva Lane
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What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

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