Pictures:

Matt Weiss
General
Picture

Why didn't the clam share its food?

Because it was shell-fish.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why do you really have to hand it to short people?

Because otherwise, they can't reach it themselves.

1190
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Abigail respond when her husband suggested that they go camping in the winter?

The idea leaves me cold.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

1568
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

2407
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Was there any limit to how good the costumes would be at the costume ball?

Disguise the limit.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Billy write in all capital letters?

He wanted to practice being a Capitalist.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

After the hour and minute hand of a clock, what is the 3rd hand called?

The second hand.

89
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How is Jim doing at his new job hanging up clothes in the department store?

He's getting the hang of it.

571
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the Teddy Bear go outside?

It felt stuffy inside the house.

2166
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How are computer disk drives different than car traffic?

It's good when disk drives are backed up, but it's not good when traffic is backed up.

2429
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What part of the meat did Bill try not to bring to his wife from the freezer?

He didn't think it was a good idea to give his wife the cold shoulder.

1964