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What is a book about all the things that a person thinks they should have done differently?

An oughta-biography.

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Why did the woman crash into the building where Mark had just been standing?

Her driving instructor told to hit the mark.

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How did Nancy feel when the lemon-sugar pie she made fell on the floor?

It was a bitter-sweet experience.

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What did the hotdog say to his friend the apple?

I want to be frank with you.

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What is someone called who is always thinking about buildings?

He has an edifice complex.

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How did Gary build a successful drainpipe business?

Having his mind in the gutter.

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What was the slogan of the resort on the mountain?

Come up, and calm down.

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Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

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What did the mother do whose son chewed on an electrical cord?

She grounded him until he conducted himself properly.

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What do you call a tax on things that people do wrong?

Syntax.

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How did Jack refer to the current day when he finished work?

He called it a day.

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What continent is named after ants?

Antartica.

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