Pictures:

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

3137

Why was Sara confused when she learned about animals on a farm?

She couldn't understand how you could fit animals into a pen?

2059

How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

1467

Why did Maxine think her neighbors were squares?

Because they liked square dancing.

602

After going bankrupt, what did Bob name his new honey business?

Plan Bee

2532

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

What is special about an erasable whiteboard?

Its remarkable.

2031

Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

2692

What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

2867

What do you call it when the CIA puts a bugging device in a flower pot in a factory?

A plant in a plant in a plant.

168

Why did the soldier not want to share his rank with other people?

It was private.

1087