Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a family that has generations of restaurants?

A dine-asty.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What kind of car can become a religious convert?

A convertible.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Bill was feeling down, why did he go to the racetrack?

It made him feel bettor.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

328
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the sergeant give his troops sticks of glue?

As a message that they should to stick together.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How do you teach a rope?

You pull on it until it becomes tight, and then it becomes taught.

3277
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Billy have trouble learning to speak using future and past tense?

It made him tense.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What can you say about these workers?

They are onion-ized.

3347
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

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