Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

127
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Which type airplane do people like to stare at?

A Leer Jet.

1566
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Mike buy picture frames?

Someone suggested that he reframe his problems.

675
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

2102
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

435
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was Fred's reaction when someone suggested that he become a chiropracter?

He was taken aback.

3210
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did the flock of unshorn sheep keep bumping into each other?

They had the wool over their eyes

222
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

634
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

2377
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

328