Pictures:

What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

1868

How did Jeff's friends realize he finished his entire "bucket list" over the weekend?

He looked pail

1464

What kind of horse involves aching muscles?

A charlie horse.

2868

What are "octopy"?

Pizzas topped with calamari.

2356

Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

2962

What are the 2 most agreeable letters?

OK

2986

What is it called if someone rebels against the trees?

Tree-son.

1843

What is the exact enrollment at the Carmelite Convent?

Nun

1499

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

How to describe a boxer too tired to continue?

Out of whack.

637

What happens before posterous?

It's pre-posterous.

2965

Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

140