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Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

669

Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

1524

What did Rob's wife do when he realized he'd bought a guitar missing some components?

She told him not to fret.

814

How are banks like trees?

They both have branches.

2052

When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

2579

What is a group of pictures of people laughing called?

Laughing stock.

481

What special symbol weighs more than any other?

The pound.

2093

What is the version of Arabian Nights that takes place in Rome?

Al-Latin.

154

What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

2819

What do you call Israelis that have vineyards?

Grape Jews.

225

What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

2569

Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

1249