Pictures:

What two letters are empty?

MT

849

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

2379

What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

1655

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690

What do you call a bruise that is in the side of a beet?

A beet nick.

3294

What is happening here?

Eve is giving Adam an Apple iPhone.

3072

What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

143

When Mitchel lost money in a risky investment, why did he feel like his clean suit?

Because they had both been taken to the cleaners.

1374

What do attorneys wear to court when representing clients?

Their law suits.

1097

Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

2099

What is this a picture of?

Air Bee and Bee

2373

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352