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Akiva Lane
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How was Bill's mug shot that was taken when he was arrested by mistake?

The picture didn't do him justice.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Janet eat from a bag of dates when she talked to Joe at work?

She wanted him to ask her for a date.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the zoo like when all the bears were sent to a different zoo?

It was unbearable.

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Akiva Lane
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What seat lies?

Either 1. deceit or 2. a recliner.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Barry wear an oxygen mask when he saw a beautiful sunset?

Because it took his breath away.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill like his new job working as a chauffeur?

Chauffeur so good.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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Akiva Lane
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What piece of clothing is named after the neck of a reptile?

Turtle neck sweater.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the study of the family history of Genies called?

Genie-ology.

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Akiva Lane
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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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