Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

2722
Matt Weiss
General
Picture

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

2107
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What gets larger as the things they represent get smaller?

The numbers associated with roads (highway 1 is larger than higher 4325)

2764
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did Joan do after she attached her schedule to a helium balloon?

She didn't know, because her plans were up in the air.

408
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

1632
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did Cynthia say when her dog bit into her rye bread sandwich?

Something is awry!

1365
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did Bob think this would be a balanced diet?

It was 3 square meals a day.

1303
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Where is a runner from when he stops running?

Iran.

1512
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

690
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Barry's tongue hurt so much?

Each time he felt like saying something wrong, he bit his tongue.

935
Matt Weiss
General
Picture

What looks like white paint and smells like blue paint?

White paint.

1755