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What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

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Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

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What is the hardest thing about making a sidewalk?

The cement.

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When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

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Why was Mike concerned about the liquids that he drank?

Because after he drank them, they were drunk.

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How do you describe a fantastic egg?

Egg-cellent, egg-ceptional, and egg-stroadinary.

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What school teaches about tea?

Universi-Tea.

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What country is named after neck-wear?

Tie Land.

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Why is it best to avoid jealousy?

Because it ends with lousy.

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Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

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Why wasn't Joe able to get the bank's low-interest loan?

Because the bank had low interest in giving the loan.

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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

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