Pictures:

What did the sheep say to his friend who had been sheared?

Boy did you get fleeced.

1137

Why is this large gun a better value than smaller ones?

It provides a bigger bang for your buck.

1268

Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

1966

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

1432

What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

1021

Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

1989

Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

140

What is the key to the monastery called?

The monk key.

2137

How was the rabbit rewarded for keeping mice out of the garden?

With an increase in celery.

1443

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

1168

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279