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Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

573

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

What is Denise's brother's name?

De Nephew.

2434

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?

A maybe.

854

Which psychiatry specialty deals with bizarre behavior?

Off-the-wall-ogy

2002

Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

501

When Bobby threw a ball as hard as he could, why did it just come back to him?

He threw it up in the air.

989

What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

135

What do animals and coins have in common?

They both have heads and tails.

2613

What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

1444

What is the Sherlock Holmes story where he solves the mystery of the missing pillow?

The pillow case.

593

What vegetable has the best rhythm?

Beets.

177