Pictures:

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

696

How did worms get onto Noah's ark?

They came in pears.

2291

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

How does a doctor thank someone for referrals?

Thank you for your patients.

1205

Where did the army put their best soldiers?

On the front lions.

2936

What happened after Lenny was very skeptical about going to a chiropractor?

Now he stands corrected.

1603

Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

867

How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

2631

Why did the owner of the factory close the factory when the workers went on strike a third time?

He said 3 strikes and we're out.

3290

Why did the homeowner get upset that he had to install this?

He just needed to vent.

639