Pictures:

Why couldn't Alan sit in a chair when he worked?

He was a stand-up comedian.

1703

What is a bank for pigs called?

A piggy bank.

2577

What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

What do you get after you finish sleeping?

You get up.

86

Why is wine part of religious ceremonies?

Because it's De' vine.

1702

What do you call a state that is really into dancing?

A swing state.

1888

Which psychology specialty focuses on dealing with others?

Yourology

1999

What is it called if someone rebels against the trees?

Tree-son.

1843

Why did this guy think he'd be good at bartending?

He came from a "pour" family.

2523

Why did Bob join the tug-of-war team?

He wanted to meet people who had a lot of pull.

835

How is America similar to those who figured out how to make a bus that looked like a cylinder?

Column bus discovery

2361