Pictures:

After a long winter, how did the tree feel in the spring?

It felt releaved.

3115

What is a cookie with a PhD called?

A smart cookie.

1446

What crime does this describe?

Assault and battery.

747

What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

1868

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663

What did the sweet potato with amnesia say?

I don't know who I yam.

327

Why were the wafer cookies sad?

Because their mother was away far.

1750

What is the problem with debt?

The silent bee inside of it can sting.

1371

What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

559

What symbol is written before it is pronounced?

The dollar sign.

515

Why don't some believe in Evolution?

They think it's monkey business.

1798

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060