Pictures:

Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

1131

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

How do you add 4 letters to LAUGH and 1 letter to LAUGHTER to completely change their meaning?

OnsLAUGHt and sLAUGHTER.

3011

How did the bad sergeant behave?

He was rotten to the corps.

1325

What did the new furniture store say when they sold their first sofa?

Sofa so good.

2479

What is a good name for a company that certifies bones for dogs to chew on?

Bone-a-fide

2584

Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

2102

What was Benjamin Franklin's reaction when lightening struck his kite?

He found it enlightening.

2245

What do you call a smiling rabbit with long hair?

A happy hoppy hippie.

2756

Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

1970

What is another name for a florist?

A petal pusher

509

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064