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Who was more intelligent as a child - Alec Baldwin or Alec Guinness?

They were both Smart Alecs.

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Why did Beth wonder if her husband had any thoughts in his head?

Because so often she felt that he acted in a way that was thoughtless.

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What two letters are used to make a spreadsheet?

XL

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How did the horses feel when they were moved to a different stable?

They felt destabilized

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What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

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How do you say in one word that the media is not high quality?

Mediacrity.

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What does the army and the wind have in common?

They both can have a draft.

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Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

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What do you call people who eat in a steak restaurant?

Steak holders.

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Why do some people like to eat these?

It gives them a peas-ful feeling.

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What did Noah do before the flood?

He was pre-pairing.

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What do animals and coins have in common?

They both have heads and tails.

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