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What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

What sauce can you use if you're behind in a race?

Ketchup.

1592

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

What are flies that hang around a clock called?

Time flies.

893

What was Betty's reaction when the recipe called for stirring the batter?

She kept on stirring until she went batty and stir crazy.

570

Why wasn't Alan impressed with the running track inside of the windmill?

It was just run of the mill.

2113

Why was Fred very good at sleeping?

He could do it with his eyes closed.

1332

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

What electronic device is named after an American insect?

USB

608

What was James Bond's nickname when he travelled a lot?

Vaga Bond

2170

What are the great-great grandparents of an ant called?

Ant-cestors.

67

What kind of art do father's like?

Pop art.

2282