Pictures:

Why did Beth get so upset when there was only one straw left in the dining room, and someone else took it?

Because that was the last straw!

567

Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

365

What happened to the fireman who fought fire with fire?

He got fired.

1405

What is the name of the rock band that sings about failure?

Rock Bottom

3053

Why did men find it difficult to understand what Abigail Terious was all out?

She was Miss-terious.

921

What's so special about Willy the window washer?

He never missed work for 37 years - the longest streak ever.

370

What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

2989

What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

135

When the class made a puppet show, why did they buy a bag of rolls?

Because each puppet had a different roll.

2040

Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

750

Where did Shakespeare play as a child that helped him learn to write plays?

The playground.

3281

What is it called when a city is overrun by cats?

A cat-astrophe.

1363