Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Where do shoes go to get stronger?

Boot camp.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are ticks in Rome full of love?

Because they are romantics.

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Akiva Lane
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Was Anna a vegetarian?

Actually, she was vague on if she was a vegan.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a line of singles from all over the world waiting to get into a singles event?

An international date line.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a person and a car different?

A person who is tired moves slowly, and when retired more slowly. When a car is tired, it moves fast, and when retired even faster.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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Matt Weiss
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Why didn't the clam share its food?

Because it was shell-fish.

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Akiva Lane
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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

Congress.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when Phil decided to do a brain transplant?

He changed his mind.

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Shane Ronay
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Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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