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Why did Alan collect lots of L's?

He thought it was good to have morals.

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How do Mr. & Mrs. Deer say hello to each other?

Hello Dear.

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What are zero's that are shot into space called?

Astro Noughts

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How is America similar to those who figured out how to make a bus that looked like a cylinder?

Column bus discovery

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What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

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What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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Why was it that in the ancient world harps could not be trusted?

Because they were all lyres.

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What happened when Gary tried to play piano by ear?

He decided it's better to play with his hands.

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What does the army and the wind have in common?

They both can have a draft.

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When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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What do you call a bathroom for both men and women?

A democratic potty.

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