Pictures:

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

2340

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

810

What kind of thinking do you need to eat Cracker Jack?

Out of the box thinking.

3242

What is it called when you wave to someone with a small gesture?

A micro wave.

1339

Why did Amy like giving watches as presents?

She felt there is no present like the time.

1643

What is similar between a worn out tire and getting social security?

It may be time to retire.

3143

What computer activity is similar to buying a new pair of boots?

Re-booting.

2670

When the music tracks that Jay submitted lost the music competition, what was the ironic result?

He made a lot of money off the beaten tracks.

1127

What did the large fan say to the girl holding it?

I'm one of your biggest fans.

565

How do you describe pulling a penny out of the sewer?

The ascent of a cent with a scent.

1674

What do people say when they think something you said is not funny?

Very funny.

427