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When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

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What is an aunt that is a great cook called?

Aunty Pasto.

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Why did Bob put some salt on everything he ate?

He was told to take everything with a grain of salt.

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What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

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Why is it best to avoid jealousy?

Because it ends with lousy.

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Why is this wild cat upset?

He was told that cheetahs never prosper.

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What do longshoremen and medical secretaries have in common?

The both work at the docs.

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Do you ever see herds of animals roam cities?

It's practically unherd of.

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What is a drug store called that specializes in drugs from vegetables and fish?

Farm and Sea Pharmacy.

2184

Why did Betty enjoy the Uber ride?

It gave her a lift.

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What did Maxine do when she lost her job?

She wrote a resume in order to resume working.

2039

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

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