Pictures:

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

59

What did the hotdog say to his friend the apple?

I want to be frank with you.

3233

If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

862

What begins and ends with E but has only one letter?

Envelope.

950

When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

2649

Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

528

What's going on here?

This man's wife asked him to hold his horses.

875

What's worse than a strong reprimand?

An icy stair.

351

How do you describe an exciting job in advertising?

It's an ad-venture.

2808

Why did Jerry Teck become a computer programmer?

Because people always said to him 'Hi Teck'.

2474

Why do courthouses attract the most audiophiles?

Because of the "hearings".

1096

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060