Pictures:

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663

What computer activity is similar to buying a new pair of boots?

Re-booting.

2670

Who is in charge of a bicycle factory?

The spokesperson

2216

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

What do you call someone who is dishonest with words?

A lexi-con.

131

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

353

What is a motto of a podiatrist?

We succeed with de feet.

320

What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

1548

Why was Emily reluctant to use a tractor on her farm?

Because it didn't attract her.

1373

What can be said about the determination of these ladies?

They are knitty-gritty.

1299