Pictures:

Why did astrophysicist Steven Hawking fail his history class?

It wasn't rocket science.

1262

How did the family feel after a great day at the amusement park?

They didn't want anything to dispel the spell.

2176

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

What is a store called that sells only items for the left hand?

A second hand store.

714

How do you describe a fish when it does things very well?

A fish in sea.

916

Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

867

What do you call a crockpot that is broken?

A crackpot.

2580

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

How did Sam feel when he left the Far East?

He felt dis-oriented.

84

What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

2427

What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

889