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What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

458

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

What do you call spaghetti that is a double agent?

An im-pasta.

410

Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

2143

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

What factors have helped Amazon retain repeat business?

Free Shipping and Auto-Ordering are two Prime examples.

278

What phone app helps you go to sleep for short periods of time?

The Nap App.

2772

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462

What kind of carrots are worth their weight in gold?

24 karats.

934

How did the students of the brilliant physics professor refer to him?

Dr. Know.

386

Why are taking good notes like a beautiful June day?

They summerize.

61

What is it called when someone surfs on top of a fishing net?

Surfing the net.

2490