Pictures:

Why did Bill buy 2 pieces of chord, and gave one to his girlfriend?

He wanted to tie the knot.

1914

Why doesn't Superman go out after dark when he visits Krypton, Kentucky?

Because then it's Krypton night.

2557

What type of tree is this?

A Pair Tree

1506

What is it called when carpets are dropped out of planes?

Carpet bombing.

1878

Where was the toilet invented?

Flushing, NY

508

Why didn't Bill want to work in the ice cream factory?

He didn't like working on sundaes.

3100

Why was the steam iron that had very little water very tired?

It was running out of steam.

2120

How did the baseball player have a family meal?

He sat at his home plate.

1349

Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

2691

How did Sam's parents react when he threw the cereal in the garbage without eating it.

They said he was a cereal killer.

387

What construction machine is named after a bird?

The crane.

2203

What's the proper thing to say to a friend who just bought a fancy new wine cooler?

Cool!

3173