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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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What is someone who can keep a secret called?

A secretary.

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Why did Arnold start a company that makes shovels?

He wanted to do well in spades.

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What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

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Which dog breed is the most inherently spoiled?

Rot weilers

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What is happening to this car?

It's being toad.

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Why did J.K. Rowling stop writing Harry Potter books after book 7?

That's all she wrote.

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How did the mouse avoid the mousetrap?

He just squeaked by.

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Why did Bill have trouble falling asleep?

He was afraid of heights.

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What do you call a young female cow?

Miss Steak.

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What can you say about the person who founded Kelloggs?

He was a cereal entrepreneur.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy.

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