Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

59
Yehuda Lane
General
Picture

Why did the scarecrow win a very special award?

Because it was outstanding in its field.

1189
Akiva Lane AI
General
Picture

What is the difference between an elevator and an escalator?

An elevator elevates, and an escalator escalates.

2539
Akiva Lane AI
General
Picture

Why was Bill on the lookout for turnips?

He didn't know when they might turn up.

2745
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a relative of an air pump called?

A pump kin.

2108
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Bill take sleeping lessons?

He wanted to sleep well.

2309
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

1989
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is more minute than a minute?

A second.

2696
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

3232
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What music makes a person feel like a worn out cloth?

Rag time.

2599
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you say to a friend who is trying to uproot a tree

I'm rooting for you.

2333