Pictures:

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy?

Use spring water.

3111

What is it called when cars protest public lies by honking their horns?

Taking the bull by the horns.

628

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

How did Bill feel when he was preparing his taxes?

He felt the taxes were attacks.

1617

When Sara asked her friends to contribute to make the chocolate chip cookies, did they?

Yes, they chipped in.

629

How did the vegetarian feel about hotdogs?

They are the wurst!

2228

How did the bad sergeant behave?

He was rotten to the corps.

1325

Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

1393

Why did Bill bring a hammer to the party?

He thought it might be useful to break the ice during conversations.

1524

Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60

When Sam and Martha Gunn had a boy, what was he like?

He was a son of Gunn.

3380

What's the combination of a man and a lima bean?

A human bean.

1748