Pictures:

What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

135

What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

340

In Amanda's school, why didn't the teachers write errors in the margins of the paper?

Because the paper they used had no margin for errors.

1716

Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

2340

Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

128

Why do UN ambassadors stay so healthy?

Diplomatic Immunity

2956

What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

858

What part of Queens, New York needs the most water?

Flushing.

2046

How did the bad sergeant behave?

He was rotten to the corps.

1325

Why are visitors to the zoo sometimes directed by mistake to the room with the bats?

People think they asked where the bat room is.

3016

Why didn't Max like racketball?

He thought that people who played it were off the wall.

2594

What did the cherry tree say to George Washington?

Don't ax me.

179