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Akiva Lane
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Because Gus was always happy, what was his nickname?

Fungus.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is the location of the letter 'I' very important in marriage?

It's the difference between 'marriage' and 'mirage', and 'marital arts' and 'martial arts'.

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Akiva Lane
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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call bees who don't answer you directly?

Cagey bees.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe Arnold getting new boots for his computer robots?

He rebooted the computer robots.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What was Jim's reaction when the other poker player wanted to deal the cards?

Well, it's not ideal.

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Akiva Lane AI
General
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What is ironic about taking the apple on the left?

After you take it, the other one is left.

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Akiva Lane
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What does life have in common with arithmetic?

It has its pluses and minuses.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the telegraph operator very careful when sending the messages in Morse code?

He didn't want to do anything that might cause re-Morse.

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Akiva Lane
General
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When you're tired and want to take a nap, in what bag can you find the naps?

A nap sack.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why didn't Maxine like using coupons that could be torn out of magazines?

She thought they were a rip-off.

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Dovid Moshe Davidson
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Why didn't the carpenter want to fit counter-tops?

He didn't want to be accused of counter-fitting.

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