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Akiva Lane
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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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What did Marty use as a guide to make decisions?

Ascend if sends a good scent and makes sense.

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Akiva Lane
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What food is this?

Apple Pie

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Why wasn't Alan impressed with the running track inside of the windmill?

It was just run of the mill.

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How did Irving's family react when he wanted to be called Izzy?

They found it unnerving.

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What did the cherry tree say to George Washington?

Don't ax me.

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Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

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Why did the mathematician plant an apple tree?

He knew how to multiply, so in addition he wanted to be fruitful.

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How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

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