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How can we summarize that Bill ruined his life because of a gambling addiction?

He threw away paradise for a pair of dice.

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How do you describe a mediocre seamstress?

A so-so sew-sew.

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What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

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Why did the family chissel their names in the tree in the backyard?

They were making a family tree.

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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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What was Genghis Kahn's attitude that made him successful?

He was Kahn-fident.

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What's high in the middle, and round at both ends?

The word Ohio.

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What is it called when a person gets tired easily from being overweight?

Fatigue.

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What piece of clothing is named after the neck of a reptile?

Turtle neck sweater.

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What do you call aluminum foil that misbehaves and has too much power?

Alumi-naughty.

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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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How did light bulbs get their name?

They are not heavy.

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