Pictures:

What did the first humans say to each other?

"You man".

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What medicine calms you down while watching a play?

Drama-mine

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What is a rebellious tick called?

A heretic.

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What's the advantage of buying eye glasses with frames colored by Rose Jones?

You can see through Rose-colored glasses.

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Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

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Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

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Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

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How did Elsie the cow feel when she couldn't give milk?

She felt like an udder failure.

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When you pay a therapist for a session, what does the therapist expect back?

Change.

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What happened to the dry cleaner who processed a man's jacket with a wallet left in the pocket?

He was charged with money laundering.

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Why did Arnold lie down next to bread in the bakery?

He wanted to be rolling in dough.

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What is a doctor called who takes care of stomach gas?

A fizz-ician.

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