Pictures:

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

1629

Why did the police arrest the comedian?

Because he was a riot.

985

What do you call a duck that is a bad doctor?

A quack.

1526

When the pessimist says 'It can't get any worse', what does the optimist say?

It can!

2714

Why did Mother Goose's child stay home from school?

It was a lame duck.

205

What do you get after you finish sleeping?

You get up.

86

Where does a lot of violent activity take place?

In youth hostiles

1487

What is news from last week called?

Olds.

2074

Why is this inspiring?

It says 'Eye can!'

2314

Why did Bruce breed racing deer?

He wanted to make a fast buck.

1898

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663