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What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

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What does Leonard Bernstein and copper have in common?

They are both good conductors.

2722

Why are trombone players usually easy going people?

They've learned to let things slide.

827

What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

1200

What type of shop specializes in watch components that are accurate up to the minute?

A second-hand store.

707

What happens when King Charles has a bad dream?

It's a royal nightmare.

1509

What is happening here?

He's checking his bill for web service.

310

Why didn't people believe this when they saw it?

They thought it was pi in the sky.

1416

What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

1531

What do those who negotiate atomic non-proliferation treaties study?

Nuclear Medicine

2003

What is a berry that doesn't tell the truth about its books?

A lie berry.

398

How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

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