Pictures:

Why was the athlete with a very bad cold very sad?

His nose was running more than he was.

2749

What fruit did the restaurant serve to young couples getting to know each other?

Dates.

2977

Do cows generally live alone?

It's generally un-herd of.

1249

What did the oil prospector say when he found out the oil well was dry?

Oh, well!

1255

How does Barbie know when to go on stage?

She waits for the Barbie cue.

2606

What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

3004

How is this feeling?

Wheely well.

2404

What political system tries to make people calm?

Calm-unisim.

2813

What was David doing in the room?

He was room-inating.

2146

What do you call it when someone is envious of another person's ability to be as flexible as Jello?

Jello-sy.

130

What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

1725

How did Jerry feel about missing out on the sale to learn kick-boxing for a year for free?

He could have kicked himself.

1150