Pictures:

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816

How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

2631

How was Bill's mug shot that was taken when he was arrested by mistake?

The picture didn't do him justice.

2065

Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

2497

Why was this man being treated intervenously?

He had severe poison i.v.

884

Why was Mrs. Jones always looking under her son's bed?

She was hoping that there might be something new under the son.

1407

How did Joe feel when he realized how much money he could have saved with a more fuel-efficient car?

He felt fuelish.

651

What is a machine that automatically rows a boat?

A row bot.

1221

What is similar between a worn out tire and getting social security?

It may be time to retire.

3143

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

What does a baker with a high IQ bake?

Smart cookies.

40