Pictures:

What did Liz drink with tea to try to make a date go well?

Date honey.

1741

Why did Beth try not to stir the pot of soup too much?

She didn't want to go stir crazy.

1877

What kind of phone do prisoners use?

Cell phones.

1054

Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

1170

What soap makes you drunk?

Bar soap.

2811

What is a good name for a car repair shop, that takes care of cars like a mother cares for children?

Good Car Ma

2712

Why should one take colitis seriously?

It could lead to a semi-colon.

1071

What do sales people, bartenders, and baseball teams have in common?

They all have pitchers.

2263

What do you call a plane that is not fancy?

A plain plane.

30

What's the most dangerous thing to read in Braille?

DO NOT TOUCH!

1223

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

2875

What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

1559