Pictures:

Do you want an ark for protection from a flood?

I Noah guy who can help.

984

After being disappointed by the response he got, why did Jim go fishing at lake Excellent?

He was fishing for compliments.

538

How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

1326

How is this person feeling?

He's down in the dumps.

3057

How do trash collectors learn their trade?

They pick things up as they go along.

973

Why did Lisa buy things with pennies?

When she bought things, she wanted to use common cents.

2587

Why did the police arrest the comedian?

Because he was a riot.

985

Where is this man standing?

Between a rock and a hard place.

2898

What are mens' favorite legume?

Chick peas

683

Why are Persians good forecastors of future events?

Because they can far see (Farsi).

2237

What's happening here?

Deliberations in a kangaroo court.

1290

What do you call a candy bar that sings rap music?

A candy rapper.

3048