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Akiva Lane
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What do taxi companies and computer devices have in common?

They both use drivers.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of people who keep to a strict budget?

We have a budget, and we won't let it budge.

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Akiva Lane
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If there was an earthquake in California, who would be blamed?

People would probably say it was San Andreas fault.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

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Akiva Lane
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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Billy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is there a school in England that teaches people about different types of plates?

Because they feel that it's important for people to know their plates.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a Tyrannosaurus Rex that is nervous?

A nervous Rex.

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Shane Ronay
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Do professional golfers practice for all 19 holes?

Of course.

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Shane Ronay
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Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you get when you are in a hurry?

You get going.

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Shane Ronay
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What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

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