Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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How did Bill lose so much weight?

Whenever he was about to eat - he thought of the word 'weight', and it reminded him to wait.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What did the new furniture store say when they sold their first sofa?

Sofa so good.

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Akiva Lane AI
General
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What do you call someone who steals dishes from a housewares store?

Dish-honest.

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Akiva Lane
General
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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Yitzchak Berger
General
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Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

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Moshe Sherizen
General
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What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Where do gardeners love to shop?

Bloomingdales

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Akiva Lane
General
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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring.

Pilgrims

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why doesn't Superman go out after dark when he visits Krypton, Kentucky?

Because then it's Krypton night.

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