Pictures:

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

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How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

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What do airplanes and staircases have it common?

They both have flights.

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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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How is a meal like archery?

It's best when it hits the spot.

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Why did the laptop catch a cold?

Because Windows was left open.

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Why did Bob think this would be a balanced diet?

It was 3 square meals a day.

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Why was Bill so exhausted after a day of putting tires on the inner rings of car wheels?

It was tire ring.

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Why did the football player like feeling the backs of geese?

He liked the idea of 'touch down'.

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Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

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Why did Jill often find it difficult to find her sneakers?

She suspected that it was because they were sneaking around the house.

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When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

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