Pictures:

What do leaders say when they demand that everyone follow what they say?

The ruler's rules rule.

1906

What do auto mechanics call their rest periods?

Coffee brakes.

1451

Why did a lot of people want to use Alan Richter's bathroom scale?

Because they wanted to know what they weighed on the Richter scale.

2805

What is a combination of a pig and a pine tree?

A porcupine.

499

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352

What 2 letters do you use when talking to someone else about themselves?

UR

2773

What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

124

How did the Teddy Bear feel after dinner?

It felt stuffed.

2999

Which dog breed enjoys eating twice as much as other breeds?

The Chow Chow

1519

What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

1625

What is an expert commentator about puns?

A pundit.

1228

What is a good name for a company that sells sprinkler systems?

Cease Fire (an actual name of a company)

1244