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Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

What US President had the most clothes to clean?

Washington.

2202

What is a very small pun called?

A puny pun.

1554

Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

326

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

What does a hiker sleep on?

A nap-sack.

324

Why did Billy find it so easy to climb walls?

Because he was so off the wall.

1388

What can you take when you want some exercize?

You can take a walk.

505

What happened when Gary tried to play piano by ear?

He decided it's better to play with his hands.

2800

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

936

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272