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What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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Where is a runner from when he stops running?

Iran.

1512

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

Why did the family try to get Mark and Sam Enz to stop their argument for 10 years?

It was important to make Enz meet.

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How does someone feel after they eat peas?

They feel peas-ful.

679

Why didn't Arnie like downhill skiing?

He wasn't inclined to enjoy that kind of activity.

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What did one guy say to his friend when he got to the punchbowl at the party first?

I beat you to the punch.

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What did the doctor say when his nurse said there was a man in the waiting room who was disappearing?

Tell him I can't see him now.

1854

Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

2051

Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

484

What is a movie about the letter O called?

The Vide-O's.

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