Pictures:

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

3145

What is the largest bone on hippos?

Their hips.

1065

What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

173

Why do dessert lovers like this airline?

They serve pie in the sky.

1300

How does a butcher greet his customers?

Nice to meat you!

195

What are earings called that are in the shape of pears?

A pear of earrings.

1018

What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

405

Why wasn't Joe able to get the bank's low-interest loan?

Because the bank had low interest in giving the loan.

29

What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

3206

Where did the army put their best soldiers?

On the front lions.

2936

When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

1683

What device do psychologists use to measure positive emotions?

An Oh!dometer

840