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What is sad about parallel lines?

They have so much in common, yet they'll never meet.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Mark regard his habit of drinking beer every day?

He regarded it as minor ale-ment.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did Alan quit his job as a probate attorney?

He didn't like putting on heirs.

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Akiva Lane
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Bill needed to pick a password 8 characters long, so what did he choose?

He chose the 8 character password: "Show-White-and-the-7-dwarves"

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Akiva Lane
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What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

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Shane Ronay
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What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

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Akiva Lane
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What is something called that makes you angry?

A pre-curser.

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Akiva Lane
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When the wind blew the large plastic cans all over, why did they change to steel cans?

When it's windy, steel cans still can be still cans.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Pharaoh believe anything Moses said?

It was in a State of de Nile.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of art do father's like?

Pop art.

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Akiva Lane
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Who starred in the animated movie about food?

The bagel had the leading roll.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Maxine do when she lost her job?

She wrote a resume in order to resume working.

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