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How do some people deal with eating leftovers on Black Friday?

They go cold turkey.

212

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

How did Sarah feel about not getting concert tickets to see her favorite band?

She found it dis-concerting.

157

Why was this year's Chili Cook-off cancelled?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1266

What did the man say after a meteor destroyed his house?

This really hit home.

2175

What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

886

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What is it called when someone drives using an interactive talking GPS device?

ChatGPS

2850

Where did the army put their best soldiers?

On the front lions.

2936

What happens to one's ability to walk after 8 drinks?

The results are staggering.

1235

What is it called when someone gets tired because they are overweight?

Fatigue

2605

What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

2427