Pictures:

What's worse than a crazy driver?

Someone who drives you crazy.

3132

Why did Jimmy wonder where the planet Noyd is?

Because his mother said she was a Noyd.

869

What did the new doctor say to the retiring doctor whose practice he bought?

Thanks for your patients.

1387

When Max ate fish, and the peeling paint fell into his food, what did he call the meal?

Fish and chips.

3311

Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

1728

What electronic device is named after an American insect?

USB

608

What did Mrs. Gard call it when she changed her twin babies?

The changing of the Gards.

411

Why did the laptop catch a cold?

Because Windows was left open.

2348

Why do many people choose low-fat milk?

Whole milk wheys them down.

1074

When did the serfs in the Middle Ages sometimes enjoy their work?

When they were Serfing.

2227

What kind of food does a tight-rope worker try to eat?

A well-balanced diet.

1693

What did Joey do when his mother said his bathroom towel was dirty, and he should throw it in the hamper?

He threw in the towel.

1386