Pictures:

Why did Amanda stare at gifts before opening them up?

Her friends told her she should focus more on the present.

2449

What happened to Martha when she fell into the large strainer that she was using?

She strained herself.

98

What are groups called that claim they know all the facts?

Factions.

3015

What do you call a chemical that makes you laugh?

A comical chemical.

1243

Where was the toilet invented?

Flushing, NY

508

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

182

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

What did the miner say when he found gold?

It's mine!

1583

What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

696

How are a sanitation truck and computer similar?

Both are garbage in / garbage out

590

What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

254

What kind of eyes are good for saving money?

Econom eyes.

2541