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What is a jacket without curves?

A strait jacket.

1930

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

2865

What is a policeman called when he's sleeping in bed?

An undercover cop.

1747

Why can't one say that all Generals are good at what they do?

Because that would be a generalization.

954

How did the horses feel when they were moved to a different stable?

They felt destabilized

1953

How do you describe someone who pretends to eat something?

He's ingesting in jest.

3177

What is a good name for a store that sells sofas?

Sofa so good.

1547

What is the most important thing to have when sanding wood?

True grit.

1453

What was the runner chasing after?

He was trying to catch his breath.

1367

What did pregnant Emily and the library book she was reading have in common?

They were both due in September.

1628

What do you call noodles that are very fresh?

New-dles

1019