Pictures:

What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

409

What happens when the king's neck hurts?

He has a royal pain in the neck.

1391

Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

501

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

What is another name for the Stanley Cup Finals?

The Punch Bowl

231

Why didn't Arnie like downhill skiing?

He wasn't inclined to enjoy that kind of activity.

1422

What happens to unsold bread from the bakery?

It's toast.

434

Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

200

What is something that we wear that is called by the material that it used to be made from?

Glasses.

2697

What is a stack of watches called?

A watch tower.

911

Why did Sally serve beef jerky at the dinner party?

It was her dry sense of humor.

551

What part of the day has the most Ning?

More Ning.

2672