Pictures:

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

Why did the politician take a part-time job as a cashier?

He wanted to learn more about change.

2507

What do you call a train carrying bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.

959

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

What happens if a cat falls into vinegar?

It becomes a sourpuss.

1725

What do you call a broken garbage receptacle?

A has bin.

72

What do you call a bat that makes short, periodic dinging noises?

A dingbat.

1562

Where is Kuwait?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

2517

Why did Fred stop being an accountant?

He started hearing invoices.

2111

How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

542

What is cleaning and oiling a pogo stick called?

Spring cleaning.

965