Pictures:

A pear of scissors.

2704

What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

3034

What is similar between a mother with a child and furniture that stores clothes?

They are both dressers.

1253

What music makes a person feel like a worn out cloth?

Rag time.

2599

If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

1645

How do you describe a situation where Bill bought 2 ducks and he wants both to keep them as pets and eat them?

It's a paradox.

3349

How did Jacob feel about Rivka's borther Lavan when he worked for Lavan for 20 years?

He felt that Lavan wasn't lovin'.

3149

What did Barbie say to Ken?

You're a doll.

1823

Why did the asterisk, question mark, and pound sign act up in class?

They thought they were special characters.

3310

What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

1548

What is the time called after mailing a letter?

Post post.

1903

What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

1200