Pictures:

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

2766

When the brother didn't treat his sister nicely, what was the result?

It caused a cry sis.

2715

What seal agrees with everything?

The seal of approval.

1886

Why wasn't the student's cousin able to pick her up from school?

It wasn't a pparent.

2327

Why don't matadors take bulls seriously?

Because they know that they are full of bull.

2588

What do you call it when the CIA puts a bugging device in a flower pot in a factory?

A plant in a plant in a plant.

168

What diagnosis caused the man to break his leg by being too anxious?

A stress fracture

296

Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

1578

Why did Marsha make a knot in the shape of the letter Y?

She figured 'Why not'?

2589

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

396