Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alan charge his cell phone?

He paid for it with a credit card.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between paying to use a towel at the gym, and a roll of Bounty towels?

One is a pay-per towel, and the other is a paper towel.

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Akiva Lane
General
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How valuable was the motel that Nancy inherited from her uncle?

It was Inn valuable.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Goldie Jones call her lock company?

Goldie Locks.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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Shane Ronay
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How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

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Akiva Lane
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How is waiting in line similar to being a doctor?

You need patience.

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