Pictures:

What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

127

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

What does a very cooked steak and a great book have in common?

They are both well done.

1744

Why did Sunil move away from Delhi?

He found it full of baloney.

1078

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358

What occurs when the amount of garbage exceeds space in the trash can?

It is beyond the pail.

1247

When Beverly had a dream about swimming in a pool of orange soda, what did it mean?

It was just a Fanta Sea.

2645

When we feel blessed, why do we feel like singing?

Because the word blessing ends with the word sing.

2762

What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

997

What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

437

What did the man say after talking to the porcupine?

You have a lot of good points.

525

Why did Andrea want to date a writer?

She was looking for Mr. Write.

1179