Pictures:

What do you call a hippopotamus with long hair?

A hippie potamus.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

417

What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

234

What is a soda with a dye in it called?

Dye it soda.

70

How did Oedipus feel when he found out about his parents?

Oedipus wreck.

313

How did the hardware store advertise hammers that break easily?

They are unbeatable.

2405

When you pay a therapist for a session, what does the therapist expect back?

Change.

774

Why did Jerry choose to work with the elderly?

He enjoyed other Jerry-atrics.

246

Rock and roll.

2422

What happens when King Charles gets a toothache?

It's a royal pain.

1510

If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

1907

Why is Joe doing this?

He was told it was important to push the envelope.

2213