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Akiva Lane
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Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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Shane Ronay
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How do some people deal with eating leftovers on Black Friday?

They go cold turkey.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who travels with light beams stored in jars?

He packs light.

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Akiva Lane
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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sharp, clever woman called?

A shrewd shrew.

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Akiva Lane
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When a doctor displayed the brain image of a high IQ person, what was the reaction?

That it was ingenious.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner eat food he was allergic to?

He wanted to break out.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone in a doctor's office that is in a hurry to see the doctor.

Im-patient.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between the rules of a bar and buying something at a store?

They both use a bar code.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner try to break out of jail?

He figured that after all that jail time, he needed a break.

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Akiva Lane
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What is exercizing at home called?

The home stretch.

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