Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What did Max do when he joined the surfboard team?

He was onboarded.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do violinists put rosin on their violin bows?

It makes the violins rosin-ate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Lisa carry a ball up the hill?

There were so many things she wants to do, and she wanted to get the ball rolling.

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Akiva Lane
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When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

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Shane Ronay
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Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a doctor who prescribes a daiquiri cocktail flavored with hickory?

A hickory daiquiri doc.

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Akiva Lane
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What day of the week do people get married on?

Wedding's day.

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetable has the best rhythm?

Beets.

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Shane Ronay
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Why is this the most expensive dish in the restaurant?

It's 24 carrot plated.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

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