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What did the cheese say when it was shredded?

I feel grate.

2260

What do you call an appointment that gets cancelled?

A dis-appointment.

3029

Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

744

Why are men more curious than women?

Because of their "why" chromosomes.

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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

124

What is happening here?

It's raining cats and dogs.

2889

What can we drink to get rid of the golden calf within us?

De-calf coffee.

366

Why did the police arrest the comedian?

Because he was a riot.

985

If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

A crack-pot.

45

What month should you be careful not to buy fake jewelry?

Jewel lie.

3065

What do you call a large amount of stamps?

A stamp-ede.

2122

Why does a letter C emerging from the ground have to be dealt with immediately?

It's an emergent C.

3002