Pictures:

How did Martha feel about going back to work on Monday?

It was a weak day.

561

If Washington is the most Southern face on Mount Rushmore, what is Lincoln?

The North Face.

1907

What do sales people, bartenders, and baseball teams have in common?

They all have pitchers.

2263

Why was Arnold concerned about his small garbage pail?

Because it was a little pale.

91

Why did Beverly Teak's niece make her feel elderly?

Her niece called her Aunt Teak.

2701

How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

1357

Why did the dirty dishes in the sink feel connected to each other?

Because they were all in sync.

2161

What do you call a ball that looks like the earth and lights up?

A global glow ball.

2266

How do you talk to a pigeon?

Using pidgin English.

3225

When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

1631

How is waiting in line similar to being a doctor?

You need patience.

3167

What did Jimmy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

2820