Pictures:

What should you avoid pressing when near a cliff?

The press-ipice.

686

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

What being always acts and feels lousy?

The louse.

2394

What do skyscrapers and libraries have in common?

They have a lot of stories.

2392

How do you describe a person's writing that has lots of verbs?

It re-verb-erates.

2565

Why did the caveman knock rocks together?

To make rock music.

806

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

133

In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

2246

Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60

What did the seal with the broken arm say to the shark?

Do not consume when seal is broken.

1398

What is a gun in a hat called?

A cap gun.

1238

Which country makes the best pan-seared steaks?

Sear-ya.

1100