Pictures:

How did Betty feel about her new job pressing clothes?

She found the pressing depressing.

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What kind of log can't change directions?

An ideologue.

1419

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

How is he trying to lose weight by wearing bread on his head?

It's a new loaf hat diet.

1351

Is the dolphin having a good time?

It's having a ball.

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Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

918

Why is this bench so comfortable?

The lumber support.

1062

Why was Emily very careful when she made right and left turns with the car?

Because one good turn deserves another.

1955

Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Why didn't Andy drink the cup of tea that was left in the restaurant?

Because it wasn't his cup of tea.

1022

How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

119

Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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