Pictures:

What do they say about the tree that was cut down because it no longer had leaves?

It was absent without leaves.

2165

What music do you wrap presents to?

Rap music.

404

Why was the hot dog happy?

Because it was on a roll.

208

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

Who does one who can't figure out their career speak to?

An Occupational Therapist.

2006

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216

What does a warning label on a large strainer say?

Don't strain yourself.

38

What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

2200

What did Bill say when he found out that his hotel reservation was upgraded to 2 connecting rooms?

How suite it is!

144

What do these both have in common?

They're both pits.

3192

Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because it was a little hoarse.

533

Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

1348