Pictures:

Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

529

When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

457

What starts with P and ends with E and has thousands of letters.

Post Office.

956

What kind of tea commands respect?

Authora tea.

2742

How did they describe the situation where the band's bass players were drunk?

The basses were loaded.

446

What electronic device is named after an American insect?

USB

608

What happens when a problem is solved twice?

It is resolved.

1977

How did the man get his young dog to stop barking?

He wore Hush Puppies

220

Why is it important that ducks learn to fly at an early age?

Because before they learn to fly they are just sitting ducks.

2463

Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

3189

How did the teacher feel about the dry-erase white board.

He thought it was remarkable.

3023

When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

676