Pictures:

Why do 95% of bald people still own a comb?

They can't part with it.

2221

What do you call a bathroom for both men and women?

A democratic potty.

2979

Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

501

What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

858

Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

2340

What is an airplane that is inherited called?

An heir plane.

863

Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

1739

Is there general agreement that people are born with a desire to take whatever they want?

A greed.

1368

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

Why are ticks in Rome full of love?

Because they are romantics.

2520

What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

1949

Why was Achmed the thief unpopular with the other shepherds?

He got other people's goats.

1797