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Akiva Lane
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What do garbanzo beans have in common with a sedative for chickens?

Chick peace.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Linda react when she saw that her bank balance started with a minus sign?

She thought it was a bad sign.

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Akiva Lane
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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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Akiva Lane
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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bob concerned about the impression he made when he ran on the treadmill?

He didn't want people to think he was just a run of the mill guy

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Akiva Lane
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How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

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Akiva Lane
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What fruit must get formally married?

Cantaloupe

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Akiva Lane
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How do we know that the water in back of a boat is not asleep?

Because it's a wake.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Heaven say to the angel that put too much dew on the grass?

Don't over dew it.

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Akiva Lane
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What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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Shane Ronay
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Why do we use the term "rode" once we've ridden?

We've been down that road before.

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Akiva Lane
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When Bill had to choose between a heavy oar and a light oar to use with his kayak, what did he choose?

Either oar.

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