Pictures:

Why was the nurse pleased to immunize this boy?

Because she was giving him her best shot.

1800

What math term did Alice not like?

The mean.

2445

What happens when a person sleeps on old magazines?

He has back issues.

595

Why should you never scream into one of these?

You'll strain your voice.

1239

Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

60

Why is it best to avoid jealousy?

Because it ends with lousy.

1830

Which fruits pair well with Chinese food?

Mandarin oranges or pears.

1052

Why should we be careful about illusions?

Because it begins with the word 'ill'.

106

Why did the boxer become a good comedian?

He knew how to deliver a good punch-line.

998

What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

2574

What does a big fine for drunken driving have in common with English grammar?

Sin tax.

890

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two tired.

1330