Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Where do you go when it's night and you're in bed and you're tired?

You go to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

If FedEx merged with UPS, what would the new company be called?

Fed Up.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What type of tree is this?

A palm tree.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What type of person uses oxygen bleach to brush his teeth?

An oxymoron

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What type of meeting is this?

A Piece Summit.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When Ellie Smith married Darth Vader why did she feel things were going up?

She became Ellie Vader.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why don't people realize when the owner of a flower shop makes fun of them?

They can't see the florist for the tease.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What can you say about the stories of how staples, paper-clips, and thumb-tacks were developed?

They are all fasten-ating.

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