Pictures:

What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

1593

Why did the cinnamon havester quit his job?

He kept barking up the wrong tree.

1796

What part of Queens, New York needs the most water?

Flushing.

2046

After being disappointed by the response he got, why did Jim go fishing at lake Excellent?

He was fishing for compliments.

538

What are flies that hang around a clock called?

Time flies.

893

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

Why did Fred often touch the four quarters he kept in his pocket?

To remind himself that sometimes change is hard.

537

Why didn't Gary want to walk too far for ideas?

Because then they would be far-fetched.

2769

What colored letter does not want to wait?

Red D.

2680

Why did the woman remove unsightly blood vessels in her legs?

She was vein.

1069

What can you say about 2 matches?

They match.

2595

When does the weather need a therapist?

When it's raining like crazy.

1900