Pictures:

What's this man's problem?

He has an axe to grind.

1270

What is logical and has to do with the Earth?

Geological

1651

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

1350

Why did the editor wear a sweater?

Because writers sent her many drafts.

1340

What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

3090

Why did Max pick up his glass of wine?

He wanted to lift his spirits.

516

Why didn't the inventor try to make a car engine totally out of wooden parts?

Because he knew it wooden work.

2801

What do you call a Jewish congregation in Orange County that tries to focus on their prayers?

Concentrated Orange Jews.

346

What begins with a dish and is not honest?

The word dishonest.

1394

How did the alien feel when trying to socialize with people?

Alienated.

2305

Why did Sam dislike going across the bridge on the way to work?

He found that every day it took its toll.

1016

Why did Arlene find it hard to let the water out of the sink?

She found it draining.

10