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Why did Ben wear double-pane eye glasses?

He wanted to four-see what would happen.

2347

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

When someone says something outrageous to you, why is it important to speak up?

Because otherwise it becomes in-rageous

2570

How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

1035

What is an army of babies called?

Infantry.

87

Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

128

Why were the angels that were getting married so happy?

It was a marriage made in heaven.

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What is a husband and wife called in Czechoslovakia?

Czech mate.

2057

How to summarize a person's life after being convicted of a crime?

Con descending.

1125

Why did Richard have someone throw his clothes from a plane and watch as they fell?

He felt it was best to spot your clothes before washing them.

2610

What happens when the king's neck hurts?

He has a royal pain in the neck.

1391

What is Denise's brother's name?

De Nephew.

2434