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What do you call a place with a lot of spiders?

A web site.

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Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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How do you say hello to the middle of the day?

High, noon!

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What is a drug store called that specializes in drugs from vegetables and fish?

Farm and Sea Pharmacy.

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What do you call a pair of pants that wants to be forever young?

Peter pants.

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How does Barbie know when to go on stage?

She waits for the Barbie cue.

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What 3 letters do you have to be very cautious and wary of?

NME

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How did the vegetarian feel about hotdogs?

They are the wurst!

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Why did Beth wear a blindfold when she slept?

Because her husband was such a light sleeper.

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What is a survey about telephone usage called?

A telephone poll.

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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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