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How did Alan feel when he put down the heavy box of cucumbers?

Un-encumbered.

166

What do you call aluminum foil that misbehaves and has too much power?

Alumi-naughty.

3244

How was the game between professional football players and prisoners in jail?

It had its pros and cons.

2087

When Bill had to choose between a heavy oar and a light oar to use with his kayak, what did he choose?

Either oar.

1745

Why did the father bring a broken cup to the family meal?

He wanted to play good-cup bad-cup with his kids.

677

What do you call someone who is crazy about money?

A dough nut.

2597

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

Why did the Jack-in-the-Box have trouble getting married?

He was an out-of-the-box kind of guy.

2926

Why did the police arrest the comedian?

Because he was a riot.

985

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

What was Betty's reaction when the glass jar fell and broke?

She found it jarring.

2140

What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

254