Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Bill lose so much weight?

Whenever he was about to eat - he thought of the word 'weight', and it reminded him to wait.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't Maxine want to charge the lightbulb with a saltwater battery?

She didn't want it to be charged with salt and battery.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the runner not tie his sneakers?

Because he wanted to win, and not be tied.

167
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was the optician embarrassed the morning after the party?

He'd made a spectacle of himself.

352
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

528
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

In a group of rabbits, how far are they from each other?

A hare's breath.

1764
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How would you describe Luke Skywalker if he's not that friendly?

Luke warm.

1769
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

3119
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was the lady afraid to get her head measured at sea?

She was afraid of cap sizing.

190
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why is this bandwagon no longer in use?

Too many people were jumping on it.

1813
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Bill's band - that hummed while playing drums - not successful?

It was humdrum.

2026
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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