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Akiva Lane
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How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

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Akiva Lane
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How do we always know who a child's mother is?

When she is pregnant and gives birth, it's apparent.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a city is overrun by cats?

A cat-astrophe.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a ring that weighs nothing?

The ring of a phone or of a doorbell.

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Shane Ronay
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Why are vultures always the last ones to leave a meal?

They have a bone to pick.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes eating food out of cans?

Uncanny.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the recession affect the company that made air conditioners?

It took the wind out of their sales.

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Akiva Lane
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What are 5 tow trucks?

A foot truck.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when someone had a good date, and tells you about it?

An update.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the rancher find his horses difficult to control?

Because they were always horsing around.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the chiropractor say when he started working on a patient?

Welcome back.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an appointment that gets cancelled?

A dis-appointment.

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