Pictures:

What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

1595

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

2025

What does an orchestra have to do with war?

They both involve violins.

3240

What might a person be on if they can't be heard?

On mute.

3108

What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

174

Why was the young mathematician encouraged when computing the formula of circles?

He was told it was easy as pi.

203

Why do chickens tend to have egg-streme political opinions?

Because they don't like being in the middle of the road.

1450

Why did the boxer become a good comedian?

He knew how to deliver a good punch-line.

998

Why did Maxine like riding on the ferris wheel?

It made her feel like a big wheel.

645

Do people in the UK use common sense?

No, the common pence.

283

What is the richest perfume.

Musk.

2496

How do the bags in the supermarket feel?

They are fit to be tied.

2534