Pictures:

What did the hotdog say to his friend the apple?

I want to be frank with you.

3233

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

Why did Beverly Teak's niece make her feel elderly?

Her niece called her Aunt Teak.

2701

What are US Treasury Bonds called that move around a lot?

Vaga-Bonds.

1183

What is the boy doing?

He's looking a gift horse in the mouth.

2730

What was Edith's reaction to reading the book on anti-gravity?

She couldn't put it down.

2380

Why did Olivia avoid eating almonds, cashews, and pecans?

Because they were nuts.

1962

What did Jim do when the bully challenged him to a debate?

He just walked away, and didn't take de bait.

2839

What's the most prevalent sickness among roofers?

Shingles

192

Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

1739

How did Beverly feel with all the dirty dishes in the sink?

Dish-organized.

1824

What 5 letters are just empty energy?

MTNRG

83