Pictures:

Shane Ronay
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Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

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Akiva Lane
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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an insect that hums?

Humbug.

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Akiva Lane
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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Billy feel when the cookies got smashed?

He felt crummy.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Bill do when his hands were dirty?

He took them to a hand laundry.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of bee can't make up its mind?

A maybe

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bob join the tug-of-war team?

He wanted to meet people who had a lot of pull.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call horses that live next to each other?

Neigh-bors.

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Shane Ronay
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My friend stopped working at the chemical factory.

It was a toxic work environment.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Shane Ronay
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Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

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