Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a farmer who makes medicine from the food he grows?

A farmacist.

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Akiva Lane
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Akiva Lane
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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

1581
Akiva Lane
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What kind of horse involves aching muscles?

A charlie horse.

2868
Shane Ronay
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What is another name for a car's complete history?

An autobiography.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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Yehuda Lane
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What is the happiest country in Europe?

Ha Land (Holland)

2717
Akiva Lane
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What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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Akiva Lane
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What vegetables were on strike?

The onions, because they were onion-ized.

2371
Akiva Lane
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Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of bush can take you by surprise?

An ambush.

2115
Akiva Lane
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When Betty felt the need to express herself, what did she do?

She drove on the the expressway.

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