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What are axes that are used by criminals called?

Axes of Evil.

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What is the motto of a store that sends packaged liver to customers?

We deliver de liver.

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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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Why was it that in the ancient world harps could not be trusted?

Because they were all lyres.

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Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

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What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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Why did Sam sing while he built houses?

He wanted to build them soundly.

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Why is a popsicle made of mist so interesting?

It's mistacle.

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What kind of log can't change directions?

An ideologue.

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Why does Ben like tea?

It gets him from 'HERE' to 'THERE'.

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How did the hardware store advertise hammers that break easily?

They are unbeatable.

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