Pictures:

How did diners at the Chinese restaurant react to the LED lighting?

They asked if they could Dim Sum.

334

How did King Kong feel about the woman he was holding?

He had a crush on her.

1134

What is a good slogan for the Republican Party?

The elephant is relevant.

1140

What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

2989

What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

1705

My friend says people think that he is egotistical.

I told him not to have his "I" out for them.

1492

How did the recession affect the company that made air conditioners?

It took the wind out of their sales.

1323

What is an expert in making signs called?

A sign-tist.

2423

Why did Bill enjoy working in building demolition?

He thought it was a blast!

2014

What is it called when husbands tell puns to their wives?

Pun-ishment.

93

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

What sickness does one get from building too hot a fire in a ski cottage?

Cabin fever

704