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Akiva Lane
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How are kids similar to food?

If you don't care for them when they are fresh, they become spoiled.

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Akiva Lane
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What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arthur try to convince his wife that money was very much in style?

Because she was spending it like it was going out of style.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jeff feel when he lost the speech that he was going to give in an hour?

He was speechless.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Bill like going to malls?

He felt that if you see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Sandra feel about half the numbers when she was learning arithmetic?

She thought they were odd.

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Shane Ronay
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What happened to the man driving with a broken tail pipe?

He became exhausted.

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Akiva Lane
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What do bats celebrate when they come of age?

Their bat mitzvah.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

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Akiva Lane
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What is a prosecutor that doesn't respect defendants rights called?

A persecutor.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of room is a fungus?

A mushroom.

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