Pictures:

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

Why is it recommended to use down settings?

Because it's good to avoid upsettings.

3316

Why did the kleptomaniac go to the doctor?

He wanted to know what he could take for his condition.

1654

What room grows on a dead tree?

A mushroom.

2556

Why was this year's Chili Cook-off cancelled?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1266

What does Sudafed mean?

Bringing litigation against a government official.

716

What is special about an erasable whiteboard?

Its remarkable.

2031

What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

1

What is it called when someone surfs on top of a fishing net?

Surfing the net.

2490

What do you call a road with a lot of curves in it on a very windy day?

A windy windy road.

2843

What kind of glue do Eskimos use to hold their ice houses together?

Ig glue.

2487

How did the hardware store advertise hammers that break easily?

They are unbeatable.

2405