Pictures:

If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

862

What's happening here?

Deliberations in a kangaroo court.

1290

What happens if you ask your builder not to carpet the steps in your house?

He'll give you a blank stair.

1233

What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

933

Why do horses tend to get along well with each other?

They have stable relationships.

1895

When Mark got sick and couldn't play trumpet in the school band for a week, what did he do?

The doctor gave him a note that he couldn't play notes.

2806

How are governments sometimes similar to sunglasses?

Both of them can be polarized.

1379

How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

521

How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

159

Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

2340

What can happen if a person has too much debt?

It can debt-inate.

2488

Why did bill choose gastroenterology as a medical specialty?

He had a gut feeling.

1437