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What happens when King Charles gets a toothache?

It's a royal pain.

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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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Why did the obese woman get insulted when the doctor estimated her weight?

The doctor called it a "ballpark figure".

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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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What part of the meat did Bill try not to bring to his wife from the freezer?

He didn't think it was a good idea to give his wife the cold shoulder.

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Why is there a lack of neurologists?

Few have the nerve.

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Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

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Why did John think he had Type O blood, when he really had Type A?

His birth records had a Type O.

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What kind of city doesn't give up?

Tenacity.

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Why did Andy become a tightrope walker in the circus?

He was told that big money could be made in jobs that are online.

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Why did Arlene bring lipstick and eye shadow to school?

She had a make-up exam.

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Where is Kuwait?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

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