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How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

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What's a good name for a tanning salon?

Tan Fastic.

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What can have both a good and bad result?

Pennies from Heaven

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What is the vegetable of choice for most percussionists?

Beets, of course.

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What do you call this?

A row bot.

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Why did this man put baseball players and prisoners on a scale?

He was weighing the pros and cons.

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What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

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What do these two buildings have in common?

They are both called 'The House That Ruth Built'.

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Did you hear about the lawsuit between NBA players and the league?

It was a basket case.

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When the new driver felt he was driving too fast, what was very confusing to him?

He didn't know if he should slow down or slow up.

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Why was Bill on the lookout for alligators?

Because lately he had been swamped with work.

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What part of a river is in the present?

Its currents.

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