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How do gold miners carry away their gold?

In gold man sacks.

3112

What are batteries called when they no longer work?

Badderies

3182

How did worms get onto Noah's ark?

They came in pears.

2291

Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

140

What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

3217

Why didn't Gary want to walk too far for ideas?

Because then they would be far-fetched.

2769

What colored letter does not want to wait?

Red D.

2680

How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

1286

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

With the rule "I before E except after C', why is the word 'seize' an exception?

Because it is totally made up 'Seize'

2258

What are events before they unfold?

Folded.

621

What do you call a hippopotamus with long hair?

A hippie potamus.

2567