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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

450

If you take a liter of water, and pour it out, what does it become?

Leaderless.

478

Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

3195

How do you describe people who like good writing?

They are pro prose pros.

1424

Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

2591

Why did Bob put some salt on everything he ate?

He was told to take everything with a grain of salt.

523

Which U.S. Army battalion drives up to and then crawls under barbed-wire fences?

Jeepers Creepers

213

What is it called when athletes learn to do the high jump?

Spring training.

940

How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

897

Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

612

What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

2788

What did the math teacher try to convey to her class?

Everything has its pluses and minuses.

263