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How do gold miners carry away their gold?

In gold man sacks.

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What are batteries called when they no longer work?

Badderies

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How did worms get onto Noah's ark?

They came in pears.

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Why did Bill bring money to bed?

Because he had been sleeping poorly.

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What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

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Why didn't Gary want to walk too far for ideas?

Because then they would be far-fetched.

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What colored letter does not want to wait?

Red D.

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How did cell phones get their name?

Because if we're not careful, they can imprison us.

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What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

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With the rule "I before E except after C', why is the word 'seize' an exception?

Because it is totally made up 'Seize'

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What are events before they unfold?

Folded.

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What do you call a hippopotamus with long hair?

A hippie potamus.

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