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What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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What is ironic about The Flat Earth Society?

Their members are all around the globe.

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What jail do bad jokes go to?

The pun-itentiary.

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How did Bill feel when he searched for gold, and found a profitable iron mine?

He thought it was ironic.

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Why is a Phillips-head screwdriver so popular?

People see it as a plus.

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How were people getting hit by the same bicycle every day?

It was a vicous cycle.

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Why was Walt Disney happy after visiting Mickey Mouse in the hospital?

Because he saw that Mickey was very animated.

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P.T. Barnum was right...

There is a sucker born every minute.

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How did Maxine feel when her stomach started crying because of the way she was eating?

She knew she had an upset stomach.

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What day of the week do people get married on?

Wedding's day.

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Why did the shopping mall put signs in the mall with the number 1 on them?

Because when you see 1 you see the mall.

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