Pictures:

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What is it called when a boat company has a special discount on sailboats?

A sail-sale-celebration.

2891

What fairy tale is about using puns in rap music?

Rap-pun-zel.

425

What illness do birds get after they fly a lot?

The flew.

3190

Why did Maxine buy the more expensive bed?

It was bedder.

1869

Why can't everyone text at the same speed?

Not everyone is the same type.

1092

How did Bill feel when he searched for gold, and found a profitable iron mine?

He thought it was ironic.

1314

If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

1694

How did the lawyers refer to the case of the pillow company being sued?

The pillow case.

1825

What did Beth say when she saw icebergs from her boat?

I see icy ice seas.

442

What permission did the poet need to write poetry?

Poetic license.

1776

What happened when someone bumped into Billy, causing him to drop his piggy bank into the river?

He was left cents-less.

3185