Pictures:

Matt Weiss
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What happens if two silk worms have a race?

They end in a tie.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens when it rains at Yankee Stadium?

Damp Yankees.

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How did Bill lose so much weight?

Whenever he was about to eat - he thought of the word 'weight', and it reminded him to wait.

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Where can you go when you're tired?

You can go to bed and go to sleep.

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What do you say when you finish going through the everglades?

See you later alligator.

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Why was the elephant that lived in Manhattan depressed?

It couldn't find work, so it felt ir-elephant.

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What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

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What is a drug store located in an attic called?

A drug attic.

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Why didn't Betty want to talk about the bed that her dog Dignity was sleeping on?

She felt it was beneath her dignity.

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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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Why is it difficult to build submarines?

Whatever you build is sub-standard.

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What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

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