Pictures:

What do you call a perfect egg?

Egg-selent.

463

What is the problem with @, #, %, &, and *?

They think that they are special characters.

31

Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

2363

What famous saying does this represent?

Two bees or not two bees.

908

What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

2656

Where are the remnants of Noah's Ark kept?

In the Arkive.

2456

What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

1111

How does one shorten a coughing fit?

Using a hack

1396

It escapes me.

1308

Why can you get books from a strawberry that doesn't tell the truth?

It's a lie berry.

3238

Why was the football team surprised when their opponents punted the football?

They thought there was no punt intended.

3071

What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

127