Pictures:

In war, what is more important than who is right?

Who is left.

318

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

2875

What did the man say when needing to repair his socks?

Darn!

2545

What can you say about an elevator's day?

It has its ups and downs.

548

Why is there a school in England that teaches people about different types of plates?

Because they feel that it's important for people to know their plates.

2608

Why did Bill avoid using sucking candies?

He didn't want to be considered a sucker.

1857

Why was Fred very good at sleeping?

He could do it with his eyes closed.

1332

Why did the students love to learn how to spell?

Their teacher was spell binding.

2204

What do you call a collie with a flower in its hair and eating melon?

Melancholy Cauliflower

290

Do allergists make a good living?

It's nothing to sneeze at.

243

What is a person from the planet Noyd?

Annoyed.

1138

What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

1219