Pictures:

Why did he buy his electric car with a credit card?

Because he knew that the car needed to be charged.

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What do you call a theatre with chickens?

Fowl play.

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Why did Betty put things on the kitchen scale at 1pm for 9 hours?

She wanted to measure them on a scale from 1 to 10.

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How does wheat and rice know how to grow?

It's ingrained in them.

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What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

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What did Arnold like about geometry?

He thought some of the angles were acute.

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How do you describe pulling a penny out of the sewer?

The ascent of a cent with a scent.

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What is someone called who can't stop weaving on a loom?

A loomatic.

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What is a cane called that a shepherd uses to get animals to move faster?

A hurry cane.

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Do clothes hanging out to dry use the internet?

Yes, they're online.

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Why did Avigail get mad when her 10 year old daughter put on lipstick?

Because it made her see red.

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What does a car say when you fill it up with gas?

Tanks.

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