Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

2738
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why did the weight-loss clinic hire a dermotologist?

To make people skinny.

1816
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Martha feel bad for her calendar?

Because its days are numbered.

1370
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

412
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why does a music conductor turn his back on the audience?

He must face the music.

1278
Moshe Sherizen
General
Picture

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992
Yehuda Lane
General
Picture

What is Barry the Smurf's nickname?

Blue Barry

2374
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Boris feel about losing the kick-boxing championship?

He wanted to kick himself.

785
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When do you tell people what they are?

When you tell them, 'You are welcome'.

1606
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

After being disappointed by the response he got, why did Jim go fishing at lake Excellent?

He was fishing for compliments.

538
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What's the difference between a couple who are dating and a fire?

When the couple goes out, it progresses. When the fire goes out, it ends.

1427
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When you pay a therapist for a session, what does the therapist expect back?

Change.

774