Pictures:

What is someone called who is an expert at getting goo off of clothes?

A goo ru.

2863

Why did the weasel go to prison?

The mink stole.

1042

What do employees of a pen company get when they retire?

A pen sion.

2882

How was Gumby when it came to making appointments?

He was very flexible.

2646

Why didn't the mother want her son to listen to the radio too much?

She didn't want him to become too radio-active.

2803

What did Beverly say to the nut platter?

You're all nuts!

2160

When the Jacob's family made a home movie, why did they include eating hotdogs at the barbecue?

The hotdogs were perfect for the role.

2191

What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

409

Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653

What did the man say whose property was destroyed by a meteor?

It really left an impact.

592

What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

1548

Why is rationalizing worse than we think?

It uses rational lies.

240