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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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Why did Mike lose his job as a masseur?

He rubbed people the wrong way.

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What was the message on the chiropractor's answering machine?

We'll get BACK to you.

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How are making puns similar to oil drilling?

They both can be crude or refined.

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How did Mark feel when he used a machine to get rid of his static?

He felt ex-static.

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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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What is the difference between turning on a computer and falling off a log?

One is logging on and the other is logging off.

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How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

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Why was Maxine confused about how seriously to take Allen?

She didn't know if he was "Sir Real" or "Surreal".

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How do you describe the taste of a spicy pun?

Pungent

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When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

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Why is "libre" the Latin root for both book and liberty'?

It implies that learning makes us free.

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