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What happened when the red and blue boats crashed into each other?

They were marooned.

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Why was the chef in the Italian restaurant so smart?

He really knew how to use his noodles.

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What city is named after a saw that is used in battle?

Warsaw

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What is a crazy motive called?

A loco motive.

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What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

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What part of the computer screen do you have to be careful about what it says?

The cursor.

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How does the can opener get its name?

Because it can open things.

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How do you wake up bread?

You make it rise.

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Why doesn't Clark Kent become Superman anymore?

He can't find a telephone booth.

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What did Jay say when there was an explosion at his factory?

"Let the chips fall where they may".

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What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

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What is similar between paying for a meal and ducks?

They both have bills.

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