Pictures:

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358

What kind of thinking do you need to eat Cracker Jack?

Out of the box thinking.

3242

Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

656

What is built into the walls at Microsoft headquarters?

Microsoft windows.

2925

Which sea creature is not friendly to other sea creatures?

Anemone

261

Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

1687

How to refer to someone who suddenly became a grandmother?

An Instagram

2489

When Matthew Gen was knighted, why did people think he was a doctor?

Because people called him Sir Gen.

2910

How did Jacob feel about Rivka's borther Lavan when he worked for Lavan for 20 years?

He felt that Lavan wasn't lovin'.

3149

How would you refer to your dog-sitting neighbor that lost your pet?

Your dog gone neighbor.

1557

How was Bill's mug shot that was taken when he was arrested by mistake?

The picture didn't do him justice.

2065

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462