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How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

1184

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001

What do you call college students who go back to school in the fall?

Autumn leaves.

1990

What is an imaginary ocean?

A fanta-sea.

695

Why are weddings often done under canopies?

To say that marriage is in tents.

1673

What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

2782

What is getting internet sales for scary movies called?

Eeek! commerce.

486

Why did this company have a bad reputation?

They were suspected of monkey business.

2879

What's a good name for a tanning salon?

Tan Fastic.

2720

Why did Betty stop eating sausage?

She thought it was the wurst.

918

Why did Sara like cream cheese with her lox?

It was the key and combination that unlocked the taste of the lox.

1598