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Why wasn't the student's cousin able to pick her up from school?

It wasn't a pparent.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

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What does the NLRB do?

They oversee support groups for expectant mothers.

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Why was it so easy to reverse-engineer this dessert recipe?

It was a piece of cake.

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How did Fred feel when he opened the cupboard and a glass jar fell on his head?

He found it very jarring.

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What is the annual football game for plumbers?

The Toilet Bowl.

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What did Mr. & Mrs. Auer call eating a meal together?

They called it our Auer hour.

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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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What do you call someone who is very good at finding things?

Pro found.

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How do trash collectors learn their trade?

They pick things up as they go along.

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What is the plural of plea?

Please.

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