Pictures:

How do you describe a cow that is very particular about the food it eats?

It chooses its cud.

473

What's going on here?

A feeding friendsy.

1279

Which career works the fewest hours per week?

A Monday morning quarterback.

1265

How did Bill react when he saw graffiti in his school?

He knew that the handwriting was on the wall.

468

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What do you call someone in a doctor's office that is in a hurry to see the doctor.

Im-patient.

3174

Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

1863

Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

3127

What is this man doing in the doctor's office?

Drawing blood.

1043

What can you say about someone who travels with light beams stored in jars?

He packs light.

1342

What is special about an erasable whiteboard?

Its remarkable.

2031

Is there anything absolute about families?

It's all relative.

1728