Pictures:

Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

1971

Why did Linda name her dogs Rolex and Timex?

They were her watch dogs.

1685

What ancient city was named after the wife of Uncle Ock?

Antioch

1192

What does a cell phone, a credit card, and a bullfight have it common?

They all involve charging.

2984

What can you say about a broken drinking fountain?

It's out of order and out of water.

2177

What do psychologists and accountants both say?

It's important to be positive.

2989

When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

676

What happened when Brenda yelled into a colander?

She strained her voice.

2349

What's a good motto for an internet store?

It's better to be online than on line.

149

What did the large fan say to the girl holding it?

I'm one of your biggest fans.

565

Is the entire world starting to think exactly the same?

Just the indoctri-nations.

1114

What is MOM spelled upside down?

WOW!

586