Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jim made a party on his yacht, why did he try not to invite too many people?

He didn't want to go overboard.

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Shane Ronay
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What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a horror movie about a watch that goes crazy?

Seiko

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Akiva Lane
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How did people feel when the Eastern and Western railroads met?

They were glad to make ends meet.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an example of a ring that weighs nothing?

The ring of a phone or of a doorbell.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a house where you go to become more aware?

A warehouse.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

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Akiva Lane
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How are computer disk drives different than car traffic?

It's good when disk drives are backed up, but it's not good when traffic is backed up.

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Akiva Lane
General
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

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