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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a student with a private tutor?

He's in a class all by himself.

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Akiva Lane
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If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

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Why is Elon Musk sitting alone in a classroom?

Because he's in a class all by himself.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the bottles of beers in the ice cooler say to each other?

Let's chill.

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Akiva Lane
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To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

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Akiva Lane
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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is it so easy to feel relaxed while using the internet?

Because so many websites have 'dot calm' in their name.

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Akiva Lane
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What scoring system is used for the sport of curling?

Curl marks.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

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Akiva Lane
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What position in the armed forces is just below Marine?

Submarine.

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Akiva Lane
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When is door not a door?

When it's ajar.

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Why is the Garden of Eden called 'Gan Eden' in Hebrew?

Because before they knew it, it was 'gone'.

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