Pictures:

Why did the gardener see a dermotologist?

Because of his green thumb.

217

What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

409

Why do chickens tend to have egg-streme political opinions?

Because they don't like being in the middle of the road.

1450

What is a coat with only sleeves called?

A coat of arms.

1157

How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

2583

Why did Maxine think her neighbors were squares?

Because they liked square dancing.

602

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

Where do boots go to rest and have fun in the summer?

Boot camp.

2537

Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

2721

How is a meal like archery?

It's best when it hits the spot.

557

What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

2377

When Bob went camping, why did he avoid touching the tents?

He didn't want to feel tents.

1532