Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did Patty feel about her wonderful female cat?

She was purr-fect.

456
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Betty fix her watch quickly?

She wanted to have a good time.

518
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

860
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why dosn't Andrea like eating old mint candy?

Her one requirement is that they must be in mint condition.

2913
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What would Freud say if he made a commercial?

"Let go of my ego".

1493
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Marsha like to read on the steps of the NY Public Library?

She believed that for meaning, you have to read between the lions.

2293
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

2302
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Which hospital uses high-fat condiments to cure diseases?

The Mayo Clinic

1001
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do Siamese twins say to each other before dinner?

Would you like to join me before dinner?

2757
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

1568
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Where is the best place to find highly unusual things?

A bizarre

293