Pictures:

What's a good career path for those with wit and a command over language?

A pundit.

1025

When Anne's mother suggested that she learn how to play bridge, what was Anne's response?

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

788

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

When Nancy suggested putting grated cheese on the salad, what was everyone's reaction?

They thought it was grate.

1683

How did Matteo feel about being a soccer fan?

It was fan-tastic.

778

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

1168

What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

340

How did Jim feel when he walked barefoot on seashells at the beach?

He was shell shocked.

2020

How did Max feel about the lack of oxygen on top of the mountain?

Both the air and the views were breath-taking.

2027

What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

1833

What are earings called that are in the shape of pears?

A pear of earrings.

1018

What did his kids say when their father told them they were eating lamb?

Ewe!

753