Pictures:

What did the hotdog say to his friend the apple?

I want to be frank with you.

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What does a warning label on a large strainer say?

Don't strain yourself.

38

Why couldn't Joe say the phrase "A cyclone that looks like a tongue."

Because it was a tongue twister.

2821

Why did Bill take sleeping lessons?

He wanted to sleep well.

2309

Why couldn't serfs get ahead during the Middle Ages?

Life was feudal.

1480

What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

3090

Why did the guy from a poor neighborhood study to be a car mechanic?

He wanted to go from under the hood to under the hood.

3195

What do these two buildings have in common?

They are both called 'The House That Ruth Built'.

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What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

3168

Is this letter waiting for anything?

No, it's ready.

2827

What do you get after you finish sleeping?

You get up.

86

How do authorities in England express their appreciation for the public maintaining orderly lines?

They say, "ThanQueue

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