Pictures:

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

450

What do you call a chemical that makes you laugh?

A comical chemical.

1243

What is a well after the repairman fixes it?

Well adjusted.

710

How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

2583

Why do horses have low divorce rates?

They have stable relationships.

2218

Why was the hot dog happy?

Because it was on a roll.

208

What's a good career for a Math Major?

An Add Executive

2225

Who owns the largest number of private business aircraft?

King Lear

321

Why did Terrie Gross's boyfriend find her mysterious?

Because her name was Miss Terrie.

2690

What is this showing?

It's a gargling gargoyle.

3134

What happens when a person has to work on Sundays?

It's a weakened weekend.

153