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Akiva Lane
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What is the most disrespectable aspect of the computer?

The cursor.

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Akiva Lane
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What are US Treasury Bonds called that move around a lot?

Vaga-Bonds.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the people playing poker surround themselves with bushes?

They wanted to hedge their bets.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of traffic tastes good with bread?

Traffic jam.

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Akiva Lane
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Where can you go when you're tired?

You can go to bed and go to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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When Matthew Gen was knighted, why did people think he was a doctor?

Because people called him Sir Gen.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the ferris wheel owner feel about having almost no customers?

He felt like he was just spinning his wheels.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the bee punished?

Because it didn't bee-have.

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Akiva Lane
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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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What do you call a nurse that got caught in the rain without an umbrella?

A wet nurse.

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