Pictures:

What do you call an Arabic Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

2284

Why did Bill get furious at the person who tried to steal his goat?

It really got his goat.

1309

What's the proper thing to say to a friend who just bought a fancy new wine cooler?

Cool!

3173

What does this picture represent?

Mind over matter.

723

What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

2441

What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

143

Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

669

What is the air-conditioning system in a baseball stadium called?

Baseball fans.

2815

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

What did Maxine do when she lost her job?

She wrote a resume in order to resume working.

2039

What did the jigsaw puzzle man have trouble with?

He found it hard to pull himself together.

633

What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

2208