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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare the words Mercy (English) and Merci (French)?

Mercy is what one asks for, and Merci is what one says after getting it.

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Akiva Lane
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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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Akiva Lane
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During negotiations, why did one side suggest that they continue at the local diner?

They wanted to make a counter offer.

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Akiva Lane
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What begins with a dish and is not honest?

The word dishonest.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the frayed knot answer when it was asked to do something?

It said, "I'm afraid not."

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when cars protest public lies by honking their horns?

Taking the bull by the horns.

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Shane Ronay
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What does a smart person have in common with a school principal?

They are both in charge of their faculties.

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Akiva Lane
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What con-man conquered a large part of Asia?

Genghis Con

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Mr. and Mrs. Beaver find it hard to get along?

Because they found each other so dam a-gnawing.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is a sleeping person like a spy?

Because he is under cover.

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Akiva Lane
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What is ironic about Greenland and Iceland?

Greenland is mainly ice, and Iceland is mainly green.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens to a person whose drinking leads him to committing crimes?

He goes from drinking bars to jail bars.

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