Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Who is Darth Vader's wife?

Her name is Ellie Vader - she really uplifts him.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

My friend stopped working at the chemical factory.

It was a toxic work environment.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Bill so exhausted after a day of putting tires on the inner rings of car wheels?

It was tire ring.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Is rain free?

Yes, it's on the house.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do programs, programmers, mathematics, lumbermills, and fireplaces all have it common?

They all use logs.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

How did the Mexican "Uno Dos" bandits get their name?

They'd leave without a "tres".

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