Pictures:

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

Is this letter waiting for anything?

No, it's ready.

2827

What is a knick-name for sharks?

Vicious fishes.

2179

When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

457

Why did the rancher find his horses difficult to control?

Because they were always horsing around.

603

What are the benefits of having a sense of wonder (one-der)?

It can help you feel at 'one' with everything.

809

What's a good motto for an internet store?

It's better to be online than on line.

149

What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

1705

Why are reading glasses called glasses?

Because they are made from plastic?

568

How did light bulbs get their name?

They are not heavy.

1534

To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

2660

What happened when someone bumped into Billy, causing him to drop his piggy bank into the river?

He was left cents-less.

3185