Pictures:

How can psychiatrists charge so much?

Because people have to be crazy to pay those rates.

2620

When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

955

What is the motto of the National Lactose Intolerance Association?

No Whey!

234

Why didn't Joe buy camouflage trousers at the store?

He couldn't find them.

958

What is it called when parents provide good guidance for their children?

Power steering.

2269

How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

1355

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

133

Why was Arnold concerned about his small garbage pail?

Because it was a little pale.

91

How did people react when Jim complained about his SAAB car?

They thought it was a SAAB story.

1710

What did Matt Silver call his new software company?

Silver Ware.

2035