Pictures:

How does a doctor thank someone for referrals?

Thank you for your patients.

1205

Why did Arlene bring a piece of wood and a dog to her first weaving class?

She heard they were going to learn about the warp and the woof.

1901

Why didn't Jack understand his hat?

It was over his head.

276

Why did Billy write in all capital letters?

He wanted to practice being a Capitalist.

2650

Where is the best place to find shipping pallets?

"Skid" row

381

What kind of glasses are these?

They're reading glasses.

2890

Is it good to tie something with a frayed knot?

I'm afraid not.

1634

The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

1620

If a pineapple is a collection of fused berries, what is it called if a detached berry doesn't want to re-join the group?

It is refusing to refuse.

712

What flowers are similar to a mouth?

Tulips

1678

When it rains, how are trees and grass similar to people?

They enjoy taking a shower.

3166

What is the proper way to greet the Dalai Lama?

Hello Dalai!

282