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Akiva Lane
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How did Bobby feel when he spilled a jar of olive oil on himself in the morning?

It was too oily in the morning.

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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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Did Bill Clinton find his wife funny?

He thought she was Hillarious

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Why did the husband and wife enjoy scuba diving together?

They liked the feeling of being in sink with each other?

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How are governments sometimes similar to sunglasses?

Both of them can be polarized.

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How did Jim feel when he thought he was losing his marbles?

He felt marble-less.

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What is it called when people argue about what to do with a rope?

This cord's discord.

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In the race, how did the runner's shoes do?

They were all tied.

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Why was Emily very careful when she made right and left turns with the car?

Because one good turn deserves another.

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What did the rancher say to the person he thought was taking down parts of his fence?

I'm accusing you, but I hope you don't take offence.

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Where did Melinda keep information about doctors and medicine?

In her 'docs' folder on her computer.

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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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