Pictures:

A pear of scissors.

2704

Why did Betty enjoy the Uber ride?

It gave her a lift.

360

What is it called when parents provide good guidance for their children?

Power steering.

2269

Since the hamburger was behind in the race, how could it win?

It needed to ketchup.

729

How did Jeff feel when his favorite porpoise in the aquarium was very sick?

He felt like he no longer had a porpoise.

2058

Why did the priest act so differently in church?

It was his altar ego

1460

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

646

Who did Yvonne go to in order to take care of her eye tic?

A tic doc.

2232

Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

1841

What is the first phase of a liver transplant called?

De-livery

1958

What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

2867

Where do uncles find their wives?

An aunt farm

1462