Pictures:

What is happening here?

He's checking his bill for web service.

310

Why was there a rainbow after the flood of Noah's ark?

Because he passed with flying colors.

986

How did Marty know what types of kitchen counters his customers really wanted?

It was always counter-intuitive.

2942

What do you call someone who is driven crazy by the ticking of a clock?

A luna-tick.

409

Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

What was the best advice that Benjamin Franklin ever got?

People told him to go fly a kite.

1597

What did the plate say to the food?

The meal is on me.

2050

Did you hear about the lawsuit between NBA players and the league?

It was a basket case.

1271

Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

2609

What did the clock repairman say when you asked when the talking clock will be fixed?

Time will tell.

2321

What is a baseball bat that is used to destroy fans?

A fan club.

1572

What begins with a dish and is not honest?

The word dishonest.

1394