Pictures:

What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

2782

Why does filling up tires keep getting more expensive?

Inflation.

1759

How do you describe someone who has a lot of influence in the field of app development?

He has app pull.

3133

Why did Alan give pennies to people in the street?

He felt the people would benefit by common cents.

1488

Why couldn't the pony sing?

Because he was a little hoarse.

2643

Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

128

What is a policeman called when he's sleeping in bed?

An undercover cop.

1747

What is the result of the fact that there are 7 trillion nerves in the human body?

Sometimes we feel like a bundle of nerves.

317

What is a cartoon of puppets on strings called?

Suspended animation.

1109

What do you call a troop of soldiers with long hair?

The hair force.

1659

Which animal rarely stops talking?

The yak

260

What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

2220