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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

2526

What is the problem with @, #, %, &, and *?

They think that they are special characters.

31

Why was it that in the ancient world harps could not be trusted?

Because they were all lyres.

1106

What do you call a thief that leaves no clues?

Stainless steal.

1658

Why did Bob join the tug-of-war team?

He wanted to meet people who had a lot of pull.

835

What is the shadow of peapod called?

A podcast.

906

What happened to the person who snuck into the heated swimming pool?

He's now in hot water.

672

What does a penthouse have in common with the lead article in a magazine?

They are both a cover story.

2912

Why was the girl so upset to have to repeat her class?

She felt degraded.

596

What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

1917

What two letters are used to make a spreadsheet?

XL

3062

Because Gus Jones was so much fun to be with, what was his nickname?

Fun Gus.

1860