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What chess term refers to a marriage that needs to be re-invigorated?

Stalemate.

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Why wasn't Lucy happy about her schedule?

Because she was so busy, it wasn't funny.

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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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Is getting close to cousins important?

Yes, its relatively important.

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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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What do you call a story about a mouse that lives in 2 cities?

A Tail Of Two Cities.

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What did Ben say when the tanks came and saved his village during the war?

Tanks.

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What can you say about a person who sews together pieces of cloth into suits and dresses?

He has his work cut out for him.

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What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

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Why didn't Joe mind when the wind ripped the roof off his store?

He no longer had any overhead.

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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

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