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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

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What is the person called who cleans the white board every day?

Chairman of the board.

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How do you describe a person's writing that has lots of verbs?

It re-verb-erates.

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If having some awe is awesome, what is having too much awe?

Aweful.

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What did the man say whose property was destroyed by a meteor?

It really left an impact.

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Why was the telegraph operator very careful when sending the messages in Morse code?

He didn't want to do anything that might cause re-Morse.

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What arm of the octopus is the strongest?

The Arm E.

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What do the words pigment, canvas, and paintbrush all have in common?

They are all terms of art.

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After Jim fell into the upholstery machine, what happened to him?

Now he's recovered.

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Why is a child's cry called a wail?

Because sometimes it seems as big as a whale.

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How did Alan like his job in the factory that squeezes grapes?

He found it depressing.

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