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What is sad about parallel lines?

They have so much in common, yet they'll never meet.

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What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

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How did Sam feel about getting bald?

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

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What can happen to our calves if we eat too much?

They can become cows.

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How did Charlie feel when he lost his list of things to do?

He felt listless.

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Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

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Why did Bill eat ice cream every day?

It cooled him down when so many things made his blood boil.

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What flowers are similar to a mouth?

Tulips

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What is a hat made of bottles called?

A bottle cap.

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What can you take when you are dirty?

You can take a shower or you can take a bath.

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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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