Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Barry say when he was told about a newsstand that he didn't know about?

That's news to me.

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Akiva Lane
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What does an air conditioner and a hair conditioner have in common?

They both can make you feel cool.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

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Akiva Lane
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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the source of a pig's pink color?

Pigment.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a sentence that has the words 'the the' right after each other?

I really like the The North Face jacket.

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Akiva Lane
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When it rains, how are trees and grass similar to people?

They enjoy taking a shower.

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Akiva Lane
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When Beverly got to the supermarket, why did she first go to the fruits and vegetable section?

Since she was on a diet, it was a step in the right direction.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call worrying about the complications of losing money in a real estate complex?

A complex complex about a complex.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the Teddy Bear go outside?

It felt stuffy inside the house.

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