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Shane Ronay
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What's a good name for a plumbing company?

In Sink

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt and Joan feel tension when the dishes weren't washed?

They felt out of sync when the dishes were in the sink.

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Akiva Lane
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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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Shane Ronay
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What did the surgeon say when the patient asked if he could administer his own anesthesia?

Sure, knock yourself out.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a drug store called that specializes in drugs from vegetables and fish?

Farm and Sea Pharmacy.

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Shane Ronay
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Why do people in the Czech capital feel priviledged?

They're used to their Prague-ative.

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Akiva Lane
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When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

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Akiva Lane
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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the steam iron that had very little water very tired?

It was running out of steam.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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