Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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What word and number indicate the winner of a race?

Won and 1.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a noun that makes money?

A pro noun.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do shoes sneeze when they get hot?

They become hot-shoes!

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Akiva Lane
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What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

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