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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

2579

What word and number indicate the winner of a race?

Won and 1.

721

Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

353

Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

2630

What is a noun that makes money?

A pro noun.

1204

What is the proper term for a clash between snakes?

A hissy fit

219

What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

143

Why do shoes sneeze when they get hot?

They become hot-shoes!

1552

What did the therapist tell Francine?

Her problems were all in her head.

559

Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

2335

What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

1200

Why did the luxury home builder use only inexpensive laminate kitchen countertops?

He lost his marbles

216