Pictures:

If a friend's cousin donates a kidney to his friend's cousin, what does it make the two friends?

Second cousins, once removed.

1810

Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653

Even though Julie loved history, why did she choose not be a historian?

There was no future in it.

2799

Were there dinosaurs that sprayed smells like a skunk?

If there were, they are now ex-stinked.

2590

What music do you wrap presents to?

Rap music.

404

What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

1749

Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

1687

How do you describe someone who has gotten use to being a little crazy?

Home on deranged.

2338

Why did Max really appreciate his shoes?

It was his 'sole' means of support.

2098

Why do butchers need regular vacations?

To escape the grind.

238

What is this man doing?

He's a lion tamer aligning a line of lions.

2856

What's the best time to create a virtual loaf of bread?

E-leaven.

1319