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Akiva Lane
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Why did Jim and Beth take one evening a week from their family life to eat dates?

Because that was their date night.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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Shane Ronay
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How does one obtain a very firm crease from the dry cleaner?

Request an increase.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Akiva Lane
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What it is called when California hi-tech companies fool people in a ridiculous way?

Silly Con Valley

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Moshe Sherizen
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What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

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Akiva Lane
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What didn't Alan understand about the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme?

How were the king's horses involved in putting Humpty Dumpty together again?

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Fred avoid eating hard cheese such as Swiss cheese?

He preferred eating cheese that is easier.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a mystic is hopeful about the future?

Opti-mistic.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a bag called before it wakes up?

A sleeping bag.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you usually don't mind losing?

Weight.

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Akiva Lane
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What are ticks called that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly Ticks

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