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How did the tycoon ask his architect to design a modest home?

"Don't mansion it".

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Why did Jim write a last will and testament?

Because where there is a will there's a way.

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How do we know that a coincidence can be worth money?

The word coincidence begins with the word 'coin'.

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What is an experimental program to teach people to fly, called?

A pilot pilot program.

2024

Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

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What happened when shipping containers with materials for making shoes sank?

There were thousands of lost soles.

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After Jim fell into the upholstery machine, what happened to him?

Now he's recovered.

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Why was the son of a drapery store owner upset when flunking out of college?

He knew it was curtains for him.

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What did Marty say when he was saved by a lifeguard named Sam Bell?

"I was saved by the Bell".

2060

What kind of fruit did they use against Donald Trump?

He was impeached twice.

719

Why was this year's Chili Cook-off cancelled?

Somebody spilled the beans.

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If the hole of a bagel is filled with black pepper, what is the result?

A black hole.

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