Pictures:

Why did Joe use so much weather stripping?

He opposed the draft.

1819

How did Helvetica respond when someone suggested that she go out with Times New Roman?

He's not my type.

1529

What do you call someone who believes only 12.5% in a Universal Being?

An eighth-iest

232

Why did Arlene dislike washing the dishes?

It gave her a sinking feeling.

746

My friend moved to Helsinki, but couldn't fit in.

He found it hard to Finnish anything.

1478

What is the annual football game for plumbers?

The Toilet Bowl.

1346

If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

1645

What kind of tea always tells the truth?

Honest Tea.

2506

What is this a picture of?

Air Bee and Bee

2373

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

2051

What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

3028