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Why did John feel bad when he stopped dating?

Because he felt out of date.

1863

What do you call a one-legged hippo?

A hoppo

2602

What did the cop say to the driver who offered a bribe?

Fine.

1479

What jail do bad jokes go to?

The pun-itentiary.

2403

What expression refers to an insect in the late spring?

Bee that as it May.

2638

What happened to the magician driving down the street?

He turned into a driveway.

966

What was obvious to everyone, but no one dared mention?

The elephant in the room.

269

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

A pear of scissors.

2704

How can psychiatrists charge so much?

Because people have to be crazy to pay those rates.

2620

How do you describe a seagull that believes everything you say?

Gullible.

2822

Why are vultures always the last ones to leave a meal?

They have a bone to pick.

184