Pictures:

What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

2200

What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

1949

Why did the shoes cross the road?

Because the chicken was wearing them.

996

What did the bottles of beers in the ice cooler say to each other?

Let's chill.

2473

How in one word can one complain that their grapes aren't ripe yet?

Gripe

872

What did one guy say to his friend when he got to the punchbowl at the party first?

I beat you to the punch.

2903

What does an air conditioner and a hair conditioner have in common?

They both can make you feel cool.

553

Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

713

Is the legend about how Arthur became king actually true?

Sword of.

331

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

Was there any limit to how good the costumes would be at the costume ball?

Disguise the limit.

641

A 5 o'clock shadow.

1280