Pictures:

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

A paradigm.

2695

What vitamin is similar to a girl's Bas Mitzvah?

Vitamin B12

2641

If bored people chose a leader, what would the postion be called?

Chairman of the bored.

2092

Why did the man travel to India for a corned beef sandwich?

He heard they had a new Delhi.

292

Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

821

Why didn't the cat go to the doctor?

It was feline fine.

1756

How do you describe that the bark of a tree doesn't taste as good as its fruit?

It's bark is worse than it's bite.

2505

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

133

How did the the drunkard summarize his drinking binge?

With a short schnapsis

181

When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

2302

What are zero's that are shot into space called?

Astro Noughts

2698