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What fruit must get formally married?

Cantaloupe

1664

Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

653

Why was the cook proud of the eggs she made?

Because they were well done.

1347

Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

2257

Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

2390

What was it called when Samantha texted her friend about the great date she was on?

It was an update about the up date.

2481

What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

3034

What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

668

What did the woman do who got sick from the sushi restaurant?

She sued sushi.

3141

If before marriage a man is incomplete, what is he after he gets married?

He's finished.

396

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

What did Barbie's boyfriend tell her?

You're a doll.

3260