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What is a soda with a dye in it called?

Dye it soda.

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Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

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What music do you wrap presents to?

Rap music.

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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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What is the message of a clock with wings?

That time flies.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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What is moistening meat based on?

The meat.

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What do you say when you look at the ocean after a long time away?

Long time no sea.

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What does an orchestra and a destructive mob have in common?

They both have violins.

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How best to describe someone who only sees his own perspective?

MYopic.

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How was a comedian asked to perform at the Orthopedist's Convention?

Please...humerus.

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What can you learn from watching a pear tree grow?

You can learn more about how to pre-pear.

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