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What is someone called who is so good at finding things, that people pay for searching?

Profound.

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What are 5 tow trucks?

A foot truck.

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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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How did Charlie feel when he lost his list of things to do?

He felt listless.

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When Mrs. Smith suggested to her husband that they go to a concert, what was his response?

Sounds good.

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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

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Where is a runner from when he stops running?

Iran.

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Why did the union leader start ironing his shirt?

Because he didn't want to strike until the iron was hot.

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What part of a computer screen doesn't speak so nicely?

The cursor.

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How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

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Why did Beverly avoid bidding too much at auctions?

She thought it might be considered morbid.

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