Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

79
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

2311
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Martha not appreciate her beautiful kitchen counters?

She took it for granite.

226
Yitzchak Berger
General
Picture

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?

A maybe.

854
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a small store that sells Halloween costumes?

A boo-tique.

155
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

1357
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is similar between a thief and shoes to run in?

They are both sneakers.

1252
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

2497
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

761
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why do courthouses attract the most audiophiles?

Because of the "hearings".

1096
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is an expert thief who is second in command called?

An accomplished accomplice.

1156