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Akiva Lane
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What kind of doctor is similar to a boring teacher?

An anesthesiologiest - they both put people to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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What is similar between most men's hair and re-planting a garden?

They are both re-seeding.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt run in the desert?

For the big race, he wanted to make a dry run.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes a variety of missiles?

Missile-aneous.

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Akiva Lane
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What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a holy man who walks barefoot and has bad breath from fasting so much?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are the internal parts of a person called organs?

Because they are very organized.

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Matt Weiss
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Why didn't the clam share its food?

Because it was shell-fish.

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Akiva Lane
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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between starting a new job and eating hotdogs?

With one you try to pass muster, and with the other you pass the mustard.

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Akiva Lane
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What aunt disagrees about everything?

Aunt Tithesis

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a seamstress that doesn't know how to sew?

A seemstress.

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