Pictures:

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two tired.

1330

What is a book about all the things that a person thinks they should have done differently?

An oughta-biography.

1341

Why didn't Joe play hide-and-seek very often?

Good hide-and-seek players are hard to find.

2350

What was Bill's reaction when he got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He felt lucky it was a soft drink.

855

How can you identify a Dogwood tree?

By its bark.

1507

What do you call someone who helps on a farm?

A farm assist.

2485

What word is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary?

The word 'incorrectly'.

1896

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

853

What is a curve that can set a lot of things straight?

A smile.

1657

What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

2982

Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

1704

Why was the teacher arrested for using a compass and a ruler?

They are considered weapons of maths destruction.

671